Twin Souls

A woman on her way somewhere
That is what we are
No matter how we do it
There is no place
Like where we wander in our mind

We are inevitably here
Always dreaming of somewhere else
In some weird but funny way
We are already everywhere

I´ve felt your every feeling
I´m thinking your every thought
When I open my eyes
There is more completeness
Where I used to be

When I look myself in the mirror
I am blinded by your heart
The little I can see of me
Are but fragments of who I thought I was

Now my mind is more beautiful
Like a caleidoscope
That´s what I´ve noticed
Since I found you in there

My eyes are more open now
Maybe I was lost for a moment
Now I´ve found that there is more
That life is richer than we thought

So rich it could afford
To give them two of us
Blessed the ones that love you
Tremble, the ones that dislike me

We will always be different
In fact, we will never change
Love is not a costume
Neither our fazade

With us every day is like
Every season of the year
A fresh breeze in the summer
A warm coat in winter time
We are both Dawn and Twilight
Both Morning, Noon, and Night

Like chameleons
We are who they need us to be
Exactly when they need it
Because we are what they need
If they don´t know it yet
We will remind them

You are everything I am not
And everything I am
I am never without you
I wouldn´t even want to try

We have a special connection
Uninterrupted by knowledge
United unconditionally
By this pain in the heart
Called Separation

Words don´t describe how I feel
Nor how much I love you
Me and You, my Twin Soul
Are always close by heart

So let us keep in mind
That once we know what a door is
We can break through any wall that has one
Even the wall of Time and Distance

Every new day is a rainbow
And all the colors are for us
You can pick the one you like the most
It will give us an all for one
We only need to take them to us
Let them color our dreams

Then we will do what we do best
Creating our own reality
Breaking all the patterns
By chosing the right wrongs
While chasing butterflies

Encounters

With you I want to live
Unconditional acceptation
Confidence in asking
Exploring and playing

With you I want to understand
That life is for living and laughing
And death doesn´t separate us eternally
So there will be no need to cry

Will you take care of me
My nights and my worries
Will you be the lighthouse
That illuminates my dreams
And all my childhood wishes

I will be your woman entirely and completely
An adult when you feel like a child
Insecure, lost, or vulnerable
Your inspiration when tiredness strikes you down

I will be the fountain of your
Intimate and rational desires
I will transmute your routine instants
With small explosions of tenderness

I want to share with you a life of loving-seeing
Experiencing, feeling, being
There will be no need to dream me
When you need me the most

Together we will open up the world
And discover the way
To a space of reflection
And stimulating action
A world where we can feel and make
A vital compromise to ourselves and to each other

I promise to always return to breathe your air
To contemplate the beauty of your light
To color my skin with your sun and your salt
To fall in love willingly or unwillingly

The unexpected, the desired
The inevitable, the dreamed
When the time comes
Everything will come true
But without encounter there is no wisdom
Without loving in the present, there is no encounter

How

How do you know that you feel something
You´ve never felt before
As if you´ve been agited
Like one of those snow globes

How do you measure a feeling
Trying to suck all the joy
Out of every moment
That cannot be counted

How can you see somebody´s soul
And feel it so near
Without seeing reflected
A little piece of heaven

How do you know that your smile
Can change the life of someone
If you never open your eyes
To see them smile back

How do you know what is peace
If no one has ever made you feel
How all your fears fly away
Like butterflies

How do you make the correct choice
If you have never sensed
Bad filling you with emptiness
Because Good is walking away

How can you find yourself
Staring at the sunshine
If you never get lost
As you strife to avoiding the clouds

How will you be able to find your soulmate
If you don´t see the forest because of all the trees
And you, yourself, don´t show
That you want to be found

How can you fall in love
If you don´t let somebody in to fill your heart
To its width, length, and hight
Growing inside of you until there is no place for anyone else

How can we recognize the feeling of having had enough
If everytime we say goodbye
Our whole being is hurting
As we leave each other screaming for more

How will we ever achieve happiness
And see our dreams come true
If we don´t embrace the possibility
That our lives may never be the same again

How?

Here Lies a Woman

Here lies a woman that drowned in her thoughts
A thought was only deep enough
If you could suspect that those stars
That seemed to reflect on the surface
Were pieces of soul glimmering on the bottom

Here lies a woman that never slept
She thought she could escape the day
Falling in love with the night
It was never possible to live her dreams
Reality always stayed by her side

Here lies a woman that lived on her knees
So full of mistakes and errors
Pride, vanity, and self-righteousness
An endless fight to achieve humility
Prayer was the only way to survive herself

Here lies a woman that talked too much
She stood up for her rights and wrongs
Fought for her principles and opinions
Never sat down when she couldn´t stand up as a good example
Sorry to never have improved the silence

Here lies a woman that wasted her time
Victim of her fear of procrastination
Afraid to never be able to make it
Trying to always be busy
She was walking but felt like she wasn´t moving

Here lies a woman that strived for perfection
Trying to become someone else
Though figthting to always remain herself
She was meant to leave us with the message
That good is the enemy of best

Here lies a woman with a big and warm heart
Embracing every opportunity to serve
Every day her capacity to love grew bigger
Thanks to all those persons she loved
That never understood what they meant to her

Here lies a woman that smiled at life
Not because she was never sad
Never in despair or never discouraged
Living the Golden Rule is the only way
When you want life to smile back at you

Here lies a woman that opened doors
Built bridges and tore down walls
It was worth every strife and effort
And no road was never too long
The destination being the heart of a friend

Here lies a woman that never stopped searching
Questions without answers
Answers with no question
The only thing she end up finding
Were more reasons to not stop looking

Here lies a woman that was good enough
She was kind and generous
Tender, loving, and caring
Destined from the eternities
To live this life trying to make a difference

Here lies a woman that wanted more
Thirsty for rigteousness never achieved
She fought for her right to be special
She wouldn´t give in to conformity
Knowing it would take away her individuality

Here lies a woman that believed in love
In gentlemen and in unicorns
A world full of magic
As soon as we leave prejudice aside and decide
To live in it in peace with everybody else

Here lies a woman that was misunderstood
Left alone with her excentrities
Ideas, thoughts, and interests
Few people made an effort to get to know her
And see who she really was

Here lies a woman that thus never got to know
If she was loved and appreciated
If she meant the world to someone
She would have given her life for a hug
But Tomorrow arrived without her

Here lies a woman that was full of hope
But she won´t be lying here much longer
United with her hopes and dreams, now all fulfilled
Laughing, singing, and even dancing
She will be rising from forgotten to eternal life

Virtuous Woman

It´s born from the first broken habit
Enters in your life
Like the first ray of morning light
The door is left open for the thought
Without knowing it
You have been chosen
Heaven entire is crying
Be careful, virtuous woman
There´s a danger to your soul

You´re being noticed
Impressed and flattered
Scented, appreciated
And, you think, understood
Countless emotions escape from your dreams
As you talk for hours and hours
The only thing they don´t tell you
Is the only thing you need to hear
Be careful, virtuous woman
There´s a danger to your soul

One day you hopefully wake up
You wonder where you are
You wonder what is happening
Looking back you notice the stop signs
Notice the beauty of the curtains
But there is nothing in the room
Time stops breathing as you realize
Be careful, virtuous woman
There´s a danger to your soul

With your eyes now widely open
Your heart again facing the sun
Loving thoughts of truth and light
Tranquility and peace govern your mind
Enjoying the return of bliss
You look yourself in the mirror
Heaven´s reflected in your eyes
Be more careful,virtuous woman
There are many more dangers to your soul

My Last Song To You

At the very thought of you
My reason stops and stares
Unbutton my heart
It´s so full of you I´m drowning

Step into my web
Let me finish you
I promise you won´t feel less than me
Still you are important to me
So I might save you for later
When this feeling goes away

Like a photo caught by the wind
Let your senses guide you to me
I want you to know me
You´re the owner of my mind
Listen to me with your heart
Let me be your dance

Emotions don´t make sense
It´s too late, I´ve fallen again
Being in love with the feeling of being in love
Can color a whole world
A world that doesn´t die in the sunset

With me you´ll be finding
All your lost places
We´ll rediscover them together
If only for just one night

Out of a million scenes
There is still noone to touch
Just a song that describes
The space between you and me

It says you won´t need magic
To have my heart turn over
And reveal my only secret:
I can become yours so easily

Time Lost On You

You have abandoned me
Maybe not me
But you abandoned my emptiness
Things move on
Time changes
Where is the moment we needed the most

Sometimes we search for one thing
But discover another
Far from what we imagined
Every night the same star
The same wish
There is still no place in Heaven
For someone like me

Save me
Without you I´m not different
Even if there is no more light
With you than without you
I admit that with you
Close seemed more distant

Yesterday was empty
Tomorrow is just another day
Part of the history of the future
Yet life goes on and
The shadow of my shadow
Will continue with its labor
Picking up the pieces
Of the time I lost on you

A Kiss

Chained between
My feelings and my desires
Thorn between
What I do and what I should

To not be in a continual
State of horror
I´m normalizing the abnormal
Repressing the darkness in this light
Reaching for my inner bright
To not become who I am

In the end of the day
The sky is watching us
I am not perfect
I hope you don´t mind

It´s hard to try to become unbroken
Once you fly too close to
Something you thought was the sun
I don´t want to face this world alone
But your heart might be too small for me

Alone with these emotions
In the shape of a pillow
Still pretending to be who I am
I have only one thing to offer you
If you try to steal more than my heart

A kiss and no compromise

My Nature

I will be the false illusion
You don´t want to have
I will be the word
That gives me your attention
And makes your mouth my slave

I will be your car
Take me gently and drive me very far
I will drive you mad
I will be the ride
You wish you´d never had

I will be a song
That echoes in your head
Listen to me in your bed
Listen to me everywhere
And forget where you belong

I will be a storm in your mind
A hundred wars in your heart
I will amuse you and confuse you
I will make you go so blind
You won´t see me when I part

I will be a picture
Unerasable to your memory
You will think about me often
Because it´s in my nature
To never be forgotten

Only a Dream Away

My innocent heart
Repository of all my dreams
I ask nothing else from you
Than for you to turn the page
And recover from all broken illusions

There is such a power in forgiveness
Don´t ever get jealous nor insecure
Not too selfaware to feel guilty
Nor too proud too feel lonely
Life is too inmense

One day you may know true bliss
Next day need to hide from all my errors
Just so you can breath again
Maybe there´s a trick I don´t know about
Else just believe in the lie and leave

I want my medicine
I need to recover and rest in peace
It´s the seventh day
Where do you go when you want to hide from a ghost
Or something else that time can´t erase

Here comes the rain again
Pain is as addictive as solitude
Thoughts wander through the landscape of my heart
I want you in my corner of the world
But will you fill my soul in time

Heart of mine, hold on to your dreams
How can I feel real if not
Memories can be beautiful but
My broken soul can´t be alive till you are by my side
This truth, the worst of all lies
Is only a dream away

The Soundtrack of All My Mistakes

I don´t know what happened
I just know that it all went wrong
I was making sandcastles in my head
Suddenly I reawoke and saw
A misery from start to finish

The night was city purple
The kind of night that looks good on me
Half full of anxiety and half full of joy
I had to believe
Then I fell into a ring of fire

My soul was starving
It was time to write my own book
Instead of my walls falling
Everytime you close the door
I did it because uncertainty
Held a gun to my head

Prepared to succeed
I told you you were a star
But you aren´t
There were feelings but no intentions
So you can´t scream that they were mine

Everything ends but
Not everything needs to end badly
Now I´m leaving this place where I´m no one at all
My eyes are locked on your window
My heart chained to your memory

Tonight everything is different
The only thing worse than losing you
Is not losing you at all
So I´m reclaiming my soul back
So I can do it all over again

Intention to be Happy

I committed the error of many
Thinking that I deserved it
Trouble was what I needed
To get you out of my mind
Trouble was what I got

The Moon looked in and thought
She had already seen it all
There was one thing left
Our farewell said in silence
It has no beginning and no end

We knew each other too well
A soul with two bodies and one mind
I was drinking you
But without getting drunk
Now my soul is out of order
Because of somebody elses love story

They say time is a healer
Still it was pain that changed me
This is a world full of color
That sadness and bitterness can´t see
I hide them both in my pocket
Self-preservation is safe in my purse
In my heart a prayer
Meant to adore

Perhaps pain doesn´t actually disappear
Instead you learn how to incorporate it
Learn how to co-exist with it
Then time passes by and one day
Suddenly it doesn´t matter any more

Now it´s too late to save us
Life doesn´t stop at redlights
It has a full time job

Today a smile is my best make-up
All dressed up in sunshine
I´ll meet a lot of someone elses
And there was you
Thinking I had no heart at all

I look around and find myself trapped
In this burning desire
My intention to be happy

Let Love Begin

What we love determines what we seek
I seek the love the unites and heals
What I will find might save our lives

Love is the motivating principle
As we try to become better than we are
Your welfare will come before mine
If you promise you will take care of me forever

Dear someone, for whom I smile when no one else can see
How prepared are you to beg me to chose you
Are you the greater or are you the good
I will need to know because
Valueable lessons will be remembered for a long while
I prefer remembering you for not being gone

I´ve learned from everything but experience that
Saying I love you is only the beginning
There is greater happiness ahead
When you learn how to live without illusions

Silence

Life is a dream
We must all dream it
Time is a stream
We might all get lost in it

I played the game
I tossed the dice
It is always the same
Desire has a price

The future doesn´t change the past
In the confidence we had we lost
Everything that was meant to last
Now I am stuck alone with this ghost

Too late I awoke
From the memories I had forgot
Then I learned from the silence that you broke
That I still will have to live, love, and lose a lot.

A Prayer of Gratitude

I thank Thee for this morning
For waking me up as so many times before
The start of the day was calm and beautiful
I was greeted by Thy patience
Thy will for me was whispered to my soul

I thank Thee for granting me wisdom
To chose the better way
More grace was added to me this day
I´ve felt Thy love for me through Thy children
In every handshake, hug, and nod
In every smile, and in every eye I´ve met

I thank Thee for Thy mercy
Thy blessings and Thy gentle care
My soul has felt Thy grandeour today
Thy love for me has blessed me with greater capacity to love
In thanks to Thee I have sung to Thy praise

I thank Thee for Thy presence in my life
Communing with Thee makes my heart burn
Thy words teach me and fill my soul
I humbly ask Thee to always remain with me
And don´t let me move away from Thee
Else the darkness of the world
Might get a chance to conquer my mind

I thank Thee for the guidance of Thy Spirit
Through Thy mercy I´ve been able to make a difference today
I´ve been allowed to be an instrument in Thy hands
My soul vibrates and my humbled spirit sings
When Thy sweet Spirit strikes my strings

I thank Thee for filling my heart with joy
I feel Thee so close my eyes are now wet
Help me to never ever forget
May my soul always be filled with Thy light
That I may see and win every day´s fight
And then at least exalted be
In peace and rest, O Lord, with Thee

Busy living

So long time without you
I would have cried my heart out
God knows ´that´s what I wanted to do
Maybe I would forget how to smile
If you would decide to never come back to my life
But I´ve been too busy laughing

So long time without you
I would have felt my world has ended
Abandoned with pain and despair
I would have let the grass grow under me
But I´ve been too busy moving on

So long time without you
In my heart, uninvited guest
I would have missed you more
Would have grown bitter for what you did
This silence and uncertainty could have killed me
Trapped in memories of better days
But I´ve been too busy living

So long time without you
I could have left my heart broken
Stomped on and thorn into pieces
By someone like you
I could have closed my eyes
Closed the door to my heart and soul
Locked it up and thrown the key away
But Ivé been too busy loving

The Pocket of My Heart

This dawn I picked down
The moon and the morning star
So like you and me in many ways

You, eternal wanderer
Me, trying to shine my little light

We seem to travel together
But we follow different routes
Different goals
Different hopes and dreams
Different ways to get there

This dawn I picked down
The moon and the morning star
So like you and me in many ways

I took them down carefully
I guarded them in the pocket of my heart
The only place where you will ever find rest
The only place where I will shine together with you
The only place where we will be together
Eternally

...Just the Way it is...

There is something about you
And I don’t know what it is
But it’s this thing that you do
That makes me feel like this

Don’t know really what I feel
But I feel a lot
Feel both sure and insecure
I don’t know about what

Inside of me it’s stormy, yet it is so still
I feel so good but at the same time you make me feel so ill
Everything feels like it’s upside down
It feels so strange but yet it feels so known

At times you confuse me
Yet make me see things so clear
Sometimes you amuse me
Then you make me shed tear after tear

Even if I can be myself with you
Sometimes I am another
I know you care about me too
But at the same time you don’t seem to bother

Sometimes your words are sweet
Sometimes your words are sour
Still they decide my heartbeat
Minute after minute, hour after hour

You are a very special man
Still a boy that needs to mature
I have to forget about you anyway I can
It’s impossible. I’ve tried, so I’m sure

So now there are only two ways
Deny it or ignore
How can I when I think of you all my days
And it’s you that I adore

I try to deny every feeling
They don’t exist. It’s true
Don’t want to have them in my being
Often they make me happy but mostly sad and blue

I try to ignore them as well
Still it tickles inside of me
I hope for the feelings not to dwell
At the same time I want to let them be

You beg me to come
I beg you not to leave
Anywhere with you is home
When I’m with you I can believe

That this life has a meaning
That this world is the best of all
That there is a morning in every evening
And a spring in every fall

When you´re not with me I don´t feel well
When I’m not with you I don’t feel whole
Being nowhere near you is unbearable
It’s like I’ve split my soul

Maybe for no special reason
But you make me feel like this
Doesn’t matter the season
That’s just the way it is.

On this day a blog is born...

Maybe I should liken it with a plant. One of those undying ones I hope. Or something else undying...Anyway, what I want to say is that for some reason Ive decided to create this blog. I have so many reasons. My only fear is that it will be as constant as my diary...

My diary...I wanted to fill it with purpose, with reason, and with hopes and thoughts. Instead I put stickers on it. Stickers that would symbolize things and situations I wanted to achieve during the time the diary lasted. Supposedly it should have lasted one year, understood that I wanted to achieve those things during that year. I believe I might have stopped writing it it already in the first quarter. This was year 2007 :-S. I didnt achieve the most of them until 2008. Im still working on many of them.

I dont see this is a diary (because then I wouldnt be able to go on writing in it...). I prefer calling it note pad or something. Why? There are so many things that pop up in this restless and philosophical little brain of mine that thinks a lot more than what is good for it. I will try to put the best of those things in here because they are all worthy of being remembered and shared with you, all you people that hopefully think that what I think matters and can make a difference in this life.

Lets call it a dedication. A dedication to life as I live it. Lets call it "olofssonology"...