I've realized that
My books aren't able to save me
I wonder why
I ever thought they could
Pages full of words
That won't stay words
For eternity
One day they will whither like me
But I will whither faster
And they contain
More stories than me
Although maybe not more meaning
Reflections of minds
That perhaps no one
Will ever understand
Or even appreciate
Most of them
Will not be able to save
'Cause they were never experienced
But left unread like me
Maybe here is where
My soul belongs
Off the map
And a little bit more
To the west
This overwhelming spot
Where the horizon
Is just a blue line
The very border
Of an enchanted land
Where the desert eternilizes
Before me like the sea
And the stars bloom
In the night
Like a billion apricot flowers
As one star constellation dies
Another one is born
A celestial promise
To the darkness of the heart
That it will be dark no more
Here there's no need for crying
Because everything is as peaceful
As the colors of the mountains
The sweetness of the honey
The hunt of the coyote
It's similar to the ocean
I have tattooed in my mind
So I need a boat
To navigate safely
Through all the memories
The ones I never speak of
But don't cease to dream about
In the silver moonlight
Naked in the garden
Where I first saw your face
I met myself today
But ten years older and male
I really liked him
You're a great soul, he said
With your own character and agenda
Remember, you're not what you can
He claimed I was meant
For something bigger
That I am one of a kind
I listened to him undress me
Describe me and define me
Like no one has done before
Trying to protect myself
I became broken
Trying to remain myself
I changed
Trying to become myself again
I changed even more
Trying to find myself
I lost myself to him
We should talk
In private some time, he said
And then he left
With my mind in his eyes
My eyes on his heart
My heart in his hand
I met myself today
He is a great soul
Almost one of a kind
A love you never had
Is a love you cannot loose
If you have no love to choose from
There is no love to choose
A love that never started
Is a love that cannot end
There can be no friendship
When love is not a friend
A love that never existed
Is a love that will not be
So I've come to the conclusion
That love's just not for me
Thoughts come to me
In the middle of the night
Awareness and sleep
Both putting up a fight
One or the other
Both of them can't live
Only sleep can help me forget
What awareness can't forgive
I'm not really sure
I live this life for me
My days are full of resistance
A freedom that doesn't feel free
Free to hope
And in faith believe
In love that will come
Never to leave
Sometimes I feel fooled
Blue-eyed and dumb
For my heart's still empty
Unused and numb
A heart without love
What good does it do
It's supposed to be filled
With someone like you
But you exist
As much as darkness in light
That's all I'm aware of
In the middle of the night
I both regret
And don't regret it
In either way
Nothing is getting better
So many ways to escape
But they all lead back
Whether I take the first one
Or take the latter
There's no way out
Around or up
I'm falling down
And I can't stop
So I raise my hands
Pretend I'm lost
Anywhere but here
There is no choice
I gave up tonight
My heart, my soul
Crying for help
Without a voice
A heart that longs
That has no hope
Sunk in a sea of misery
With an anchor made of wrongs
Underneath this light
There was no air tonight
And no one to forgive
The life I didn't live
Waiting for the good
I never understood
While fighting all this bad
The only good I ever had
I see her dream
And know how she feels
What we dream and feel
Is not always real
The dreams we dream
And thoughts we think
Can not always
Be expressed in ink
The dreams we dream
No matter how much we strife
Can not always
Be expressed in life
But let us hope and dream
Think and strife
Let's make real
What we want to feel
There's a life to live
And decisions to make
In our dreams we create
The real way to take
Breathe for your heart
Breathe for your life
Breathe for all you hold dear
Breathe for me
Breathe for us
Breathe in love
Breathe out hate and fear
I know that you want
The girl of your dreams
The kind of dreams you'd like to believe
But I am not
The kind of girl you only dream
I'm the dream that is real
It's too early to go to bed
But too late to find someone
Still I linger
It's a hard knock life
A mean world and game
I don't feel like moving a finger
To be loved
For one's own sake
Should totally be enough
Too be compared
To anyone but yourself
Is tougher than tough
I have enough
With my own thoughts
To care about the ones of others
So I'll just try to be strong
And stay away from
Anyone that bothers
Right now it's too late to find someone
Too late to go to bed
Too late to move a finger
There's a hole in my heart
A whole space to fill
Where love is supposed to be
I see nothing
Then where is the pain coming from
And why is it so intense
I didn't know that nothing
Could hurt this much
In these moments
I think of you
The one who loves me
Without knowing it
My only source of inspiration
From the first time we met
Without knowing it
I already loved you
The only one whose love
Can fill my empty spaces
Thinking about you
Is always enough
You say you don't care
You say you don't love
When in reality you're the one
Who loves the most
There is something so special
About the way
You say my name
So special that I've written
A poem about it
In fact I've written a thousand
One for each time
You've made me feel like this
Like my name is a poem
Today I don't feel holy
I think I woke up like that
Yesterday was similar
But I only felt lazy and fat
Today I don't feel holy
I think that's a little bit worse
Fortunately it's only feelings
A feeling is never a curse
Today I just don't feel holy
I feel greedy, judgemental, and mean
Snappish, unsocial, and selfish
The most awful person you've seen
Today I don't feel very holy
If you've never seen me this way
Have a little patience with me
You'll recognize me better another day
But today I don't feel so holy
Today I feel prideful but small
It's better to stay away from me
Forget that you know me at all
Today I don't feel holy
My happiness is rejected and lost
So love me more than I might deserve
Today is when I need it the most
Sing to me if you love me
Even if I don't deserve it
Sing what's in your heart
With a voice that soothes me
Calm this restless soul
Make it to an art
Sing to me and love me
Like no one has done before
Become my sweet exception
Be the one to hold me
When everyone one else is gone
I'm not asking for perfection
Only love me like I love you
Without rhyme or reason
Be the one that needs me
Because I think that love
Is to find the one
Whose presence we can't be without
Be the one that makes me smile
Often more than some times
Be the one that reads me
Sing to me like you love me
Calm this restless soul
Show me what love is about
Thinking positively is
The most dangerous thing
So I took my mindfulness
Out for a walk
It's not good to walk alone
On the darkest roads
Of our own mind
There we often meet
Old friends to tell our lies
Or, in the best case
We learn to embrace them
Guilt, fear, worthlessness
I love you
Just the way you are
One day he said he was leaving
She couldn't understand why
He said, above you there's a heaven
Above me only sky
He continued painting her his reasons
As were they a piece of art
She said, the problem's not
What's above my head
It's what isn't in your heart
It's with relations just like with heaven
They're maintained with faith, love, and hope
You're leaving me as if it's something
That can be removed with water and soap
Don't blame me for the stains of your own soul
Whatever you reap, you will sow
With or without me, your dirty mind
Will follow you wherever you go
The sea was hungry
And so was I
But you had had enough
You came and you left
So did the waves
While I was left alone
Rose buds are born
To be roses one day
Who was I to take them away
Likewise we were born
To brightly bloom
Then karma made my day
The ocean is wet and vibrant
Like lips that of tears
Are trembling
The waves come close but go again
Teasing my heart
And gambling
Should I stay or go
A hard question for hearts
That look for a home by traveling
The world is so big
And the road full of promises
I hardly know what is happening
The meadows seem endless
Though the ocean is there
Like a light at the end of the tunnel
It gives me a hope
That I know is from God
It fills me and keeps me humble
If God is with me
And He's guiding my steps
How can I ever feel lonely
It's thanks to Him
And his loving Son
That wherever I am can be homely
I know that the ocean is there
I can't see it
But I hear it calling
Ocean and midnight are my favorite blues
My favorite nights
Our nights together
The night and the ocean
Are calling our names
They want us to hold them forever
Your love, I can't see it
But I know it is there
I feel it and it keeps me from falling
Our love and our nights
Is all that I need
'Cause I love you and I'm leaving you never
It's a cold night, but clear
I've been traveling for a long time
I don't remember where I've been before
And it doesn't matter
In with the new, out with the old
That's all I know
A starry night, a starry sky
A starry place to bleed my way
Always heading for something new
Something better and different
Newer skies, better hope, different dreams
In a space with no regrets
A white cloud for every breath I take
Makes it look as if the soul
Is sending out messages in space
Small visiting cards of guidance
I am the color, the feeling, the compulsion
A qualification for life
All you have, everything you know
Everything you're good at
Everything you are
Everything you mean for others
Means absolutely nothing
If there is no one there to share it with
I'm what everybody is searching for
Someone to be fascinated by
Someone to desire
I'm the Daughter of the comet
I want to take you everywhere
All the places I've been
All the places I love
The places that shaped me
Made me who I was when I met you
So you can see what prepared me
What polished me
I want to show you
A me you've never met before
That you'd like to meet again
Someone you will appreciate more
Even if you appreciate me now
I'm not that very different at all
In any place or circumstance
I'm always the one you should love
The me you can discover more of
Little corners of me
Where you have never been before
All of those corners love you
Everything about you
Everything you are
Wherever you are
