Olofssonology - My Way of Living This Life

A Girl Who Dreams

2012-01-02T15:54:00.003+01:00

The dreams I didn't think I had
Keep me awake at night
Whisper to me every break of day
That darkness will always become light

Of purity and hope they talk
Of vanishing of unbroken pains
They promise there will come a day
When nothing but joy remains

That I can be new and different
And better than last year
If I'm repented from my faults and sins
If I've lived and learned, they swear

I should trust and rely on love
Kill my own heart's winter, break my fall
Be a light in this forsaken world
With my smile bring spring and summer to all

I wonder if dreams can bring promises
Keep heart and soul safe and sound
Guide, nurture and help us survive
When love is nowhere to be found

Dreams may not answer our questions
Maybe they just softly take us where
Reality can be a nicer place
A heaven on earth right here

I wish my dreams always will heal me
When there is nothing left to do
Every time hope abandons me to bleed to death
Beside my illusions made of every You

But you will probably never find out about it
For you nothing will ever be as it seems
The only thing you will know for sure
Is that I'm a girl who dreams

Open Eyes

2011-12-12T11:07:00.002+01:00

Who am I
To want to see Love
Through something else
Than the eyes of others

Not have to
Borrow these feelings
That aren't mine
That aren't ours

Turn my life around
Make me Someone else
Someone I'll always be
Make me yours

Wake me from this life
Let me dream awake
Live my life with open eyes
Open heart and open arms

But who am I
To want to see Love
Through something else
Than the eyes of others

Yours To Keep

2011-12-12T09:55:00.001+01:00

Always in the middle
Of a half remembered dream
A different shade of the same

Too afraid to love
Too afraid to mess up
Of waiting to die alone
Or dream about the feeling

There's really nothing to say
I'm here to wake up
Become yours to keep

Empty Lines

2011-10-11T16:51:00.012+02:00

Empty lines
Can't be questioned
By any chance or heart

Empty lines
Abandon me in the middle of the night
Leaving the door open

Empty lines
Everything you never say
Are a part of my dreams

Empty lines
Don't mean anything
But I understand

Empty lines
Loose me and find me
Imagine me without them

You don't know it
But you break my waves
With your empty lines

The Love That Everybody Seeks

2011-09-19T00:04:00.005+02:00

Maybe I can't make you love me
But I promise to always be there
And encourage you softly
If you wouldn't dare

Ask me to take your hand
Be yours for ever more
Tell me with a kiss
That it's me that you adore

Come with me
Don't be afraid
You and me together
Have a future to be made

The Love that everybody seeks
May it be ours if only for one day
To be shared with only each other
And if you then would go away

May you guard me in your heart
If I never would see you again
Let me become a secret part of you
And may we re-encounter if and when

Our hearts have been growing
And are ready to really love
In a pure and honest way
That only comes from above

We will realise how much we love each other
How much we are in need
Of being together and really try
To create something good and succeed

Though sleep may flee our eyes
May our hearts ever find rest
As one entire soul
Forever united and blessed

With no secrets for each other
And every history forgiven
So we both can enjoy a common future
Where Celestial Love is given

Impossible Love Story

2011-09-05T15:51:00.003+02:00

Even though you're so far away
I can hear you breathing
As if the distance is far away from us

Where I long to have you with me
I'm all alone
With your absence

Waiting outside your life
For a chance to survive
Without touching you

When my sun is feeling weak
The thought of you
Still makes my heart beat

So many days that never ended
And nights that never lasted
I'm sorry I needed you

After loving you
There is no strength in my heart
Left to want you

Over and over again
You become my Way
To view this world

I'm trying to forget you
Change you for somebody else
But you always break my silence

You're my impossible love story
Come closest to me
And don't ever end

Wind Of Change

2011-06-24T19:47:00.002+02:00

I can't imagine leaving
Nor thinking I will stay
Anytime the future
Can change in just one day

So brilliant it is before me
But I don't know where it is
With a past that is forgotten
And a Now that I might miss

It is never easy
To sit and wait on change
Like a two-edged knife it is
Claiming both victory and revenge

Some say it can turn into comfort
If you ever get used to its song
I say it's a mysterious wanderer
That sometimes takes you along

But never reveals the secret
Of how to not become life's toy
Still helps you safely through it
Sometimes with pain, sometimes with joy

Even if we don't believe it
It comes when we need it the most
Helps us use the wind to our advantage
To safely reach the coast

So I'm welcoming the wind of change
Spreading my wings like a dove
I'm leaving a piece of my heart with you
Here where I'm loved and I love

Availability

2011-06-24T19:26:00.002+02:00

I feel the future changing
For every second
According to my thoughts
My desire
Availability

What will happen
Around the corner
Of this road
This day
Nobody knows

In control of nothing
And everything
I'm fumbling in the dark
In the uncertainty
Of this day

They say it's the end of the world
I say not today
We are not ready
Me and the world
Are not available

Midnight Love

2011-06-24T19:09:00.002+02:00

What is necessary in a sunrise
Is a love that never faileth
A light that the darkness doesn't understand
From that someone that changes the pain
To save ourselves we must also save each other
And spend a lifetime learning how to live

What is necessary is to look
A little bit deeper for the good
Midnight love is hard to find
And I'm a real woman with no need to be a fantasy
So locate some kindness within
Because life might not taste that good without me

What is necessary is to not waste time
Let us be awake all night
Or be awake for the rest of our lives
I want to stay up and talk with you
Talk about everything forever
Give me your forever and the rest of time

What is necessary is never unwise
So I'm being the one that cares
Calling you down from the stars to become my everything
I'll be the smile that warms up your soul
Or maybe I'll become somebody elses sunrise
And the only midnight you will always remember

What is necessary is everything
So don't wait for tomorrow
Wake me up if the time is right to say it
It's necessary to say I love you to someone you love
In case there will be no other nights
It's necessary, before everything becomes nothing

Eternal Summer

2011-06-24T18:58:00.002+02:00

I see the skyscrapers far away
They reflect the town that I view
The sky reflects my mind
A color of peaceful and blue

The wind is chasing
Some clouds on the run
And although the town is really big
Its sound is peacefully none

Except for some seagulls
And the waves crashing to shore
That are forming with the summer breeze
A symphony of peace and much more

It feels like I really sit there
I can feel the white sand in my hand
The sunshine is all around me
And peacefully I understand

That although this is but a state of mind
You're the one that is making it real
Nothing is able to take that away
Nor the peace that I feel

The only thing that matters
Is that from me you will never be far
Thanks to the eternal summer
And peace, that, for me, you are

Ambulare Pro Deo

2011-05-11T22:02:00.006+02:00

Starving for love
I'm always on the road
Following the Wayless Way

Year after year
Never afraid of loving someone
As they really are

When we are young we feel
Like we have all the time in the world
In the end we always need time we don't have

The Indians say Life is a bridge
Cross over it
But build no house on it

Without never having moved anywhere
You settled down within me
When I was passing through

Naturally led to Peace
We are supposed to find ourselves
When we loose ourselves

Like if we were putting up a sail
To indicate that we are ready
For Love

Would it be easier if we weren't lost
If we never lost ourselves
In each other

My whole life is in your face
But I'm not here to stay
Where there is no happiness

So I need to travel on
And I need it to hurt you that I leave
More than it hurts me every time you leave me

Then I will continue to wander
For God
Who loves me and never leaves me

Soul Music

2011-05-07T17:34:00.002+02:00

Since my first dream about you
I've waited
With no illusion

Though you filled my nights
My soul
With music

Now you are here
Gone tomorrow
Not forever

I love you
Because you make me smile
For nothing

I don't know who you are
But I'm running to your arms
As were you a lover

In My Heart

2011-05-07T17:30:00.002+02:00

You're welcome in my life
If you stay and never part
That's what I should have told you
Before I let you into my heart

It should have been the condition
But I didn't know it would be this way
Though you all come and go
And I knew you would too one day

As you leave you'll be missed and remembered
And I know you'll remember me too
I hope you know that my finest thoughts
Will always be filled with you

Deep within my heart
I'll forever be keeping in store
Every feeling you made me feel
That I never felt before

Man On The Moon

2011-05-07T17:25:00.002+02:00

Reality stopped for a moment
It was late in the afternoon
I remember that in the summer of -69
Two men had walked on the moon

The thought brought me melancholy
It was both romantic and sad
I looked back on my own life
And experiences I never had

I wonder how it would have been being up there
Looking down on human despair
As well at our fleeting happiness
Was it better than being down here?

There are so many realities
And they can all be hard to define
No one can say for certain
That their world was better than mine

But maybe it can make us think of
Our own reality, now and then
And if the world is really a better place
When looked down on, from the moon, by man

Phantasy

2011-05-07T17:19:00.002+02:00

Become a little better every day
Make every day immortal
With somebody that carries me through the night

Always wake up with the sunrise
From nothing to somebody
Like being reborn

Making the time shiver
Feeling completely safe
Even if I'm not alone

Every step becoming a piece of eternity
Finding someone that sees beyond
And transforms my life into a garden

That's when I realize
I have no dreams
Only phantasies

What's important is not to die
Or how old you are
But what you are doing when it happens

They say life will work out
But how will I know what it feels like to die
If I don't know what it's like to be living

I need a new heart
Tangible, like a flower in bloom
For that somebody special's garden

Underneath The Same Sun And Sky

2011-05-07T17:14:00.002+02:00

Even if we are quiet enough and listen
There is nothing that alerts
A heart always breaks in silence
You don't notice until it hurts

Love is for the taking
While all I ever did was give
I hope you don't hold it against me
Nor the life I wanted to live

But with every light comes shadow
And here suddenly was gone
Because I spoke of love with you
Together changed name to Alone

If I ever loved
Is hard to answer now when we're apart
But not when asking the hole
That used to be my heart

While underneath the same sun and sky
Always remember me, I pray
And next time you meet somebody like me
Don't let her walk away

Where My Heart Is

2011-05-07T17:10:00.002+02:00

Looking back
Where life is lost and gone
I can finally say that
I am coming home

Experiences later
Giving up on feeling down
Keeping my restless head up high
I'm leaving another town

Facing the future
The wind is in my sails
Tired of living memories
I'm starting on my tales

Adventures are waiting
Where life will start anew
So I am coming home now
Coming home to you

There is where my heart is
Free from sorrow and pain
With you my soul will be resting
And will never be lost again

Don't Love

2011-01-16T00:38:00.003+01:00

Don't love

It's a crime

You will have to pay

You will be locked up

Where noone knows your name

Like you're not even there

Don't love

It's a waste of time

A waste of life

You will always be alone

Because nobody needs you

Nobody cares

Don't love

It's an illusion

Nothing makes any sense

It brings no hope

Only regrets

Instead of dreams

Don't love

There is no reason

No matter what they say

Don't let anyone in

Close your heart

Close your eyes

Don't love

Don't feel

Don't think

Noone

2010-12-21T23:06:00.003+01:00

There is noone to come home to
When life changes
There is no sense of home

When the future seems uncertain
There is noone to hold me
When I feel uncertain

All my uncried tears are still wet
For you, my uncertain future
My tears remain uncried

My future is still uncried
And I have noone to hold me
There is noone to come home to

Midnight Love

2010-12-21T22:53:00.002+01:00

What is necessary in a sunrise
Is a love that never faileth
A light that the darkness doesn't understand
From that someone that changes the pain
To save ourselves we must also save each other
And spend a lifetime learning how to live

What is necessary is to look
A little bit deeper for the good
Midnight love is hard to find
And I'm a real woman with no need to be a fantasy
So locate some kindness within
Because life might not taste as good without me

What is necessesary is to not waste time
Let us be awake all night
Or be awake the rest of our lives
I want to stay up and talk with you
Talk about everything forever
Give me your forever and the rest of time

What is necessary is never unwise
So I'm the one that cares
Calling you down from the stars to become my everything
I'll be the smile that warms up your soul
Or maybe I'll become somebody elses sunrise
And the only midnight you will always remember

What is necessary is everything
So don't wait until tomorrow
Wake me up if the time is right to say it
It's necessary to say I love you to someone you love
In case there will be no other nights
It's necessary, before everything becomes nothing

Ghost of September

2010-11-07T23:17:00.002+01:00

It's always trying to find me

The Ghost of Last September

It wants me

To make me show a piece of my soul

Not yet appreciated nor deserved

By any of its beholders

It is hungry

Wants to feed on my desires

To reach out to where there is noone

The bait is an illusion

That is fading with every heartbeat

That doesn't care

Sometimes we put ourselves in situations

From which there is no turning back

There is no hiding

From the Ghost of September

And I always choose the same wrong

Because I am addicted to my own excuses

Love is only

For the lucky and the strong

And there are no second chances

So there is no need to act like you care

When I say goodbye, feeling nothing

For you, my Ghost of September

Potentially Immortal

2010-10-18T22:44:00.006+02:00

When the awareness of the others has left us

And we are all alone

You're the last one I cling to

With your hand full of promises

Never to be made nor kept

I've already let life get to me

Only to see it fade

Because you are running too fast through my veins

And I am bound to loose you

As you take my breath away

Leaving me in need

Of instant gratification

Stuck in the game we both are loosing by not playing

You get me, but aren't willing to see

That together we become a jewel that time can't destroy

Potentially immortal

With a song in my head that describes

Everything you mean to me

Iam not allowed to come too close

To your capacity of loving

Counting days, counting nights

My thoughts of you warm up the moonlight

So I can go to bed

And with no thought of tomorrow

Eternity becomes my protection

Dreaming of a reality

Where your mind becomes like mine

While your heart tells me thousands of stories

About how loneliness is but a fairytale

And my past is forgiven and forgotten

Change the World

2010-09-22T11:01:00.003+02:00

I remember the first time I met you

An intruder in the life I call mine

But as all other transfers throughout time

It was the fruit of inspiration divine

I've enjoyed the time you have been here

A time of friendship, lessons, and laughter

But like everybody else you will leave me

For now and ever after

You say you're off to make a difference

To change the world as we know it

As I've felt the potential of your noble heart

I know there will be no limit

Since I've seen the way you work

Your faith, your testimony, your spirit

I wish you good luck with the rest of the world

Because mine you've already changed it

Ready To Be Blessed

2010-09-11T14:16:00.003+02:00

I've been waiting for this moment

Now I'm standing before your eyes

After spending a whole life

Only finding others in your disguise

I've been through so many heartaches

Been touched by lovers, friends, and places

Everyone of them a bridge

Through and over life's little phases

Guided from above by someone

Who wanted me to meet you

Someone who's looking for reasons to bless us

No matter the mistakes that we do

For so many years I've been a foreigner

Feeling home could only be by your side

Though I've tried my best to prepare to meet you

I've lost years neglecting my guide

But I am ready for love now

Heaven confirms I have passed the test

So I'm standing here before you

Ready to bless and be blessed

Somebody Else

2010-09-09T01:14:00.004+02:00

I wonder if it's enough for you to share a divided heart
Is it enough to be behind the other side of love
Where you can't make decisions
A side of accepting without understanding

Where you can never be together with the dream
That is sitting next to you
You can't talk, you can't touch
You can't breath the same air

So close and yet so far away
So forsaken by somebody else
And you are left alone with the translation of the song of a heart
That is singing only for you

And I am stuck between two singing hearts
In a place where life is hard and lonely
Two hearts that so badly want to touch the skies
And come down together as one

The hardest decision to make
Is who to be with at the end of the day
And it will always make you wake up with somebody else
Even if there is noone else like you in this world

One of Those Days

2010-09-09T01:00:00.002+02:00

It was one of those days
When the room around me
Seemed emptier and smaller
There wasn't even place for solitude
And the walls had no time
To watch me or talk to me

It was one of those days
When loneliness wanted to come in
It was too cold outside for life to smile
Though not rainy enough
To wash away my secret wish
To not want to think about anything at all

It was one of those days
Just the day after yesterday
When existence tried to strangle my soul
And almost made it
Though saved temporarily by the hope
That these empty days would have no memory

It was one of those days
When I just wanted the minutes to leave me alone
To stop reminding me that they have no end
They just begin over and over again
Point at me and laugh at me
And won't let me close my eyes

It was one of those days
When thinking doesn't help
Even your absence had abandoned me
And I could no longer remember
What it was like standing beside you
Being able to dream about you

It was one of those days
When the music abandoned my night
I just wanted to to taste the sound of my name on your lips again
And fast forward life until a day
When there is no longer any space allowed between us
For you to love, to live, to breath without me

My Nights

2010-09-09T00:52:00.002+02:00

The sky is bathing in twilight
The sun is singing goodnight
The horizon is warm and orange
Today is soon out of sight

I'm welcoming the night
The guardian of my heart
When I'm alone with the darkness
My life gets a whole new start

I can be myself now
While I'm awake and alone
There is so much to dream about
When I lie here on my own

How the world can be so beautiful
Even if you're not by my side
And it will never be the two of us
So my feelings must be denied

But always brought back to life again
In my pocket of time called night
There's where I always think of you
And I can enjoy your light

Still I'm hoping for the day
You will make my nights come true
There are so many real things
I would like to share with you

My heart's loneliness and secret thoughts
Its darkness and its light
All its sacred feelings
Its every day and night

Loneliness can be more beautiful
When it is shared by two
So I'm longing for the day when
All my nights will be shared by you

Starry Starry Night

2010-08-17T14:43:00.004+02:00

A sky so full of stars

The've been there since Eternity

My wish since then and forever

Was that but one would fall for me

Every day as filled with hope

As every night is filled with wishes

But still your mouth is being caressed by

Somebody elses kisses

A sky so full of stars

I look up every night to see

If forever will ever be changing

So that you will be falling for me

My days are all full of day dreams

And every night it is you that I'm missing

All I do is dream about

The day that it's me that you're kissing

A sky so full of stars

I wish they would give me a sign

That the day I would see a star falling

You would become mine

And one day Destiny brought to me

A night of falling stars to see

They fell for everything I ever dreamed of

But none of them was falling for me

A sky so full of stars

And dreams full of hope and of wishes

So close within my heart, but yet as far away

As your body, your soul, and your kisses

Your Heart

2010-07-14T01:55:00.003+02:00

Another heart
That's what I need
To have balance in my life

Every time I feel lonely or worried
I can be reminded of
A brilliant future full of joy
In which I can continue letting myself
Being guided by your love

I can be myself
My eyes can continue smiling
Reflecting what's inside of me
The way you make me feel

If you hurt me, I will forgive you
If you laugh at me
I will laugh with you
But please don't say the words
You shouldn't make me feel

Welcome into my heart
A temple I have cleaned only for you
Done my best to keep it pure and tidy
So that you will like to be there

Stay a lifetime, an Eternity
Kiss me and tell me bedtime stories
Wake me up for breakfast
Whispering me sweet somethings

Your heart
Fountain of possibilities
Both to soothe my pain
And to embrace my happiness
That's what I really need
To have balance in my life
Together we can create Perfection

The Legend

2010-07-13T02:19:00.004+02:00

In my mind I created him
Of illusions, and rays of morning sun
Penetrating through clouds made of cotton
Softly embedding the life we treasure
With my mouth I covered him with gold

People can think they know his thoughts
What he dreams, and what he feels
That they know his inside from the outside
But they don't know him like I do
They don't know his heart

They don't know the real person
Hidden and conserved
Behind that layer of gold
But they might hear him breath
If they listen carefully

The Legend says that if you are quiet
You can hear his beating heart
I want to believe that it is true
But I know that it's my own heart beating in his body
So I try to never leave his side

And I know that he is my illusion
My thought, and my dream
Noone knows him like I do
He is the gold that covers me
If you are quiet you may hear my beating heart

A Whole New Mind

2010-07-13T01:37:00.003+02:00

I see his young heart
And it feels like September all over again
Even if you're still all around me
I know you were never my final Destination
Neither is he

I thought I had scattered
All my memories of you in the ocean
But every day without you
Still cuts me like a knife
Every day without him reminds me of this

I'm so tired of love
These dreams will have to die
So that I can finally make a song about the fact
The world has spun around the sun for the first time
Without my life being concentrated to your eyes

In his eyes I see a glimps of the life that was, but I never had
The times when you weren't a memory
Everytime I feel his heart I fall a little bit deeper
And, as I stand in his sun, I know
I will need a whole new mind to get over both of you

September Without You

2010-07-13T01:21:00.002+02:00

Another need for silence
One more chance I have been given
To learn one of life's lessons
I am destined to be re-living

Until I've learned I will re-live you
And that lonely September
That shaped my heart, and for forever
Gave me something to remember

Thinking I belong with you
Knowing that I don't
Hoping to survive the illusion
Knowing that I won't

Another pair of green eyes
Illuminating my day by day
It must be that closing my eyes and heart
Is the price I have to pay

Even if I'm blessed
With a sense of Reality
I don't deny that I secretely wish I could be with you
For time and all Eternity

But therein, my friends, lies the lesson
To learn to shut off my senses, and keep my mouth shut too
So I don't have to re-live another September
Without someone like you

That Moment

2010-07-13T00:16:00.002+02:00

Everyone else disappeared
And I was left alone with you
Only for a moment

Your eyes were closed so you didn't notice
As I found myself
Contemplating you in awe

So preciously sorrowless
So impossible to hurt
Were you in that moment

When we were left alone
In a room full of people
And I was the only one that noticed

Alone

2010-06-26T01:15:00.003+02:00

On my way into the deepest hole
You already saw me there
Not because it was my Destiny
But because you saw my heart

You saw so many other things
And I was letting you see them
My caleidoscopic mind is open
If you only want to know the way

Few are the ones that take the risk
Fewer the ones that bother
But being so alike me
I want to believe it was a pleasure for you

You've seen so many things
That I will never know them all
My secrets, my joy, my plans, and my pain
You saw everything by just loving

So when your eyes told me
That everything will be fine without you
I closed my eyes and believed you
And now I'm all alone

The emptiness is talking to me
The saddest thing you can hear is
"I will see you again some day"
When you want to see them today

But now I am here all alone
Longing for yesterday
When you weren't only a happy memory
And I was missing noone

You Could Happen To Me

2010-06-26T00:52:00.002+02:00

You are the moment
I don't know if it will ever come
Like a suspected surprise
Planned for a long time
By someone to love

You are the door that opens
The sound of anticipation
Of possible exitement
That takes my breath away
Everytime you could happen to me

You are the footsteps
That I hope are coming closer
Closer to my heart to settle down
Closer to my life to stay
Closer to me

You are the feeling
That potential to bubble up inside of me
To relief all my pains
And surround me with the certainty
Of a greater tomorrow

You are the secret corner of my smile
Where noone is allowed to go
It's the only place where I can be with you
Where we can be together
There, and in my mind

Jules Verne

2010-06-09T18:15:00.002+02:00

Lovely beetle on the stage
Why don't you sing a song about this page
A song about bottles, and candles, and toast
Where Jules Verne has been our host

Good company and good friends
Sharing together a meal
Drinking to the moon light
Asking for things to reveal

Sleepy light without any candles
The wind blows us to Baltimore
Where romantic taxi boat
Takes us to the other shore

But the memory takes us back
To where we are now
Writing together a poem
In this beautiful town

Where Maybe Meets Always

2010-05-14T23:03:00.002+02:00

I am tired
Sometimes it's hard
To long for someone
I don't know exists
Still I feel your presence
A sunbeam from your soul
Daily visits mine
Filling me with hope

When I lay down at night
I wonder how it will be
The day that we finally meet
I want to feel the connecting sparkle
The warmth of your embrace
That I forever can call home

So many blessings waiting for us
That is what I've been told
Meanwhile we will be
In each others prayers
So when our longing meet
The Spirit will be able to
Overwhelm our hearts
Removing every doubt

If incompletion strikes you at night
I want you to know I feel the same
If we hold out a little longer
Loneliness will soon be ours to share
Become our little temple
Where the walls are built of love
A power finally unleashed

I know we both may be tired
But those stars you see in the sky
Are all my thoughts of you
Remember them well
Because one day you will see them in my eyes
They will predict our future
So I will keep them shining

I'm sending you this message
To remind you that I do exist
And I'm yearning
For the day we both will be prepared
I promise to do my best every day
To come closer to you
I expect nothing else from you
Until we meet
I will be waiting for you in the horizon
Where Maybe meets Always
Hoping that you're thinking about me too

Roads

2010-05-03T00:18:00.002+02:00

On the road passing an old home
In a country where I thought I loved
But maybe never did
It makes it hurt that it ever happened

Where much is lost
Much is learned
The difference between loss and gain
Lies in the denial of the beholder

I stayed for so long
Where noone needed me to be
Because of an imagined reality
And lack of correct illusions

Fate takes us where it wants to
When we are afraid of taking control
Only decisions made with the soul
Give way to what they call Destiny

So much time wasted
Thinking we know what we're doing
And even more, trying to change direction
On a path we might never dare to take

Full of life and hopes
Powers we've never been using
Fears of all kinds and sizes
Known and unknown

Godless, yet God-conscious
Lost in labyrinths of young desires
Imagined revelations
All leading to roads not taken

Roads leading to new opportunities
To take control of our fears, and of love
Of Reality, and of Destiny
It will hurt if it never happens

The Message

2010-05-03T00:05:00.002+02:00

I'm looking up to the heavens
But there's nothing in the sky
No birds, no sun, no airplanes
Let me tell you why

A volcano shared her feelings
Screamed as her burning heart burst
Tears and ashes, now of loneliness
Where there once for love was thirst

She has been mourning for a week now
Her message is still in the air
And we realize as we are stranded
We are unknowing and unaware

Of the consequences of true love
When it ends or when it dies
That loneliness can hurt so much
It can empty all the skies

And that life can change so fast
So we better be prepared
Life is too short for living thinking:
"Noone loved", or "Noone cared"

So she claims all our attention
Wants the media to write
That too little love can kill you
So love with all your might

Today I Missed You

2010-05-02T23:50:00.003+02:00

From the very beginning

You filled my life with meaning

With structure, and with hope

Everyday with you was marked

With a special love, a joy

That many don't believe exist

Everyday without you

Seems a day wasted

I knew you had to leave

Now I'm longing for the day

You will be back for more

Because today I missed you

When that days comes

Nothing else will matter

Youre absence is my best friend here

It reminds me every day

How it was having you with me

It caresses my loneliness

Sings lullabyes to my dreams

But can't untie the knot in my soul

Fill my midnights with moonlight

Nor give wings to my heart

Today I missed you

I need you to come back now

Before my longing becomes unbearable

My heart implodes from impatience

And its hope disappears with the wind

So I need you to come back now

You've been away too long

I need to pretend you didn't leave me

Where yesterdays become eternity

If you only come back

I promise to mend your broken heart

Everytime I break it

Just like I always do

But be sure to come back

Today I missed you

Acceptance

2010-05-02T23:42:00.002+02:00

Another summer
Disappeared with the wind
Suddenly everything got colder
Now all I wanna do is cry

Not everything is happiness
Even a smile can fade
Though it seems like it always existed
All I wanna do is cry

Unfortuntely I'm a frequent visitor
At the dark veil
Where hope slowly dies
And all I wanna do is cry

Tormented with a broken heart
Persecuted by a contrite spirit
For all the wrong reasons
So all I wanna do is cry

What I need is to be hugged
Until I understand
That not everything is lost
'Cause all I wanna do is cry

In your soul I can see
My own reflection
Sick and tired of empty rooms
All I wanna do is cry

Anger was never a part of me
Denial sometimes makes me blind
But with blessed acceptance in my veins
I've ran out of reasons to cry

Seven Days

2010-05-02T23:29:00.003+02:00

Monday
I never saw you coming
Don't remember you ever being away
Like you were always a latent part of me
Integrated by default

Tuesday
I feel asleep because
I didn't want to think
Waking up
Only made me more able to

Wednesday
You haven't only taken
The power over my mind
Your presence has also spun
A web of unavailibility between our hearts

Thursday
Another morning
Still all I think about is you
Afraid to understand why
Terrified to forget how to

Friday
I am not for you
You are not for me
Though you are always on my mind
The way I feel about you is more special

Saturday
These days I've realized that
Loneliness is different
When you have someone to share it with
One day I hope it can be with you

Sunday
Looking back, thanks to you, I've discovered
A happier place in my mind
A more comfortable place in my soul
A warmer place in my heart

I'm closing my eyes
Wishing a good night
Waiting for tomorrow
When I will see you again

To All Undesired Goodbye's

2010-05-02T23:21:00.002+02:00

I don't need to explore
The geography of your mind
To get lost in the hope
Of my heart going blind
So that I can miss the end
Of our next goodbye

I don't need a dictionary
To the language of your heart
If you won't be able to answer
The question I have no right to ask
When will I read the first line
Of our next goodbye

I always need to wait but
I have no time and
My heart has got no patience
No patience to wait for the beginning
Of our next goodbye

I do need you to know this one thing
If there's anything you can do
I'm not waiting for you
To complete my life
Just to feel less incomplete
In the moment
Of our next goodbye

I don't need to know
What it is you do to me
I'm just trying to enjoy
These countless feelings I'm breathing
And meanwhile
I will try to survive 'til the day
Of our next goodbye

Your Presence

2010-04-09T10:35:00.002+02:00

Like a smile appears

In the sparkling eyes of a child

So it warms me up

As it cuddles up in my soul

The influence of Your Presence

When you are near

Come what may

I feel good and more complete

In fact, I am able to feel

Because of Your Presence

Your eyes have arms

They hug me every day

How can I even be sad

When my life is filled

With Your Presence

Your words

Are meaningful to me

Like air brings life

They bring me closer

To Your Presence

When you walk in

The rest of the world walks out

My heart follows you

So I am never apart

From Your Presence

In the end of the day

Shadows may rise

But there is always sunshine

As long as I am found

In Your Presence

As the moon follows the sun

And the sun follows the rain

My longing goes to you

Who sprinkles my life with stardust

For your friendship

For being who you are

For Your Presence

To A Very Special Friend

2010-04-09T10:09:00.003+02:00

Our encounter only counts as a moment

Of eternity, like a shooting star

That what made the difference

Is that you are who you are

During this short time

You have really touched my heart

I'm happy for my life here

And that you could play a part

It has puzzled me how you've been able

To always be what I need

Im my eyes you are Christlike

In thought, and word, and deed

Your personality has showed me

How Heavenly Father works and is

No matter what you say

Your behavior has been His

Apart from serving the Lord

Improving the world has been your call

Though the reason you seem perfect to me

Might be that I don't really know you at all

There are countless things I am grateful for

The Gospel, cats, cookies, and

That life has brought to me in you

A very special friend

Though there are reasons why the future

Only makes it to the past

The present seems like a dream

And is never meant to last

We really had a good time

Now I understand that you must leave

But we will see each other again

This I both know and believe

I hope to see you in the eternities

But until then

I pray that God will be with you

Till we meet again

Handle with Prayer

2010-03-24T10:45:00.006+01:00

You might think you're but a human
Born to walk a while upon this earth
But Heaven sparkled like a thousand fires
At contemplating the miracle of your birth

You had been a very courageous soul
Had chosen what was good and right
I know you don't remember this but
You are made of truth and light

You might think you're but a human
Unsignificant and alone
But angels hold their arms around you
When you think you're on your own

Sometimes the night might have seemed long
But now awaits a brighter day
Full of heavenly blessings
They are more than I can say

You might think you're but a human
Without any purpose here
But Heaven will show you your meaning
And help you to prepare

As you strife for Eternal Life
You must handle your soul with care
Remember the love of Jesus Christ and
Fill your life with prayer

You might think you're but a human
But people like you Jesus Christ died to save
And Heaven will shout of joy
As you come up from the grave

They have followed your every decision
Guided your footsteps whether near or far
And longed from the beginning of time
For this very moment when you are where you are

You might think you're but a human
But you are a woman, and a great example too
Friends and family will feel heaven closer
As they see Christ in you

This is only a beginning
On a journey without end
Eternity is such a long time
I am glad I brought a friend

Sweet Disposition

2010-02-26T17:38:00.002+01:00

These glimmering pearls
Longing to fall
From my heart
Through the eyes of my soul
Are barely imitiations

Feelings I once felt
Inviding me again
Striking me without mercy
Like hungry waves on a seashore
I feel like giving up and give in

I am almost enjoying it
What would I do
If there was nothing to eat my heart
Running without moving
Leaving it all behind

An earthquake shook my frozen soul
Even to the very ground
Whatever made my eyes sparkle
Broke all the rules
Thus it had happened again

If I could I would laugh but
As you said goodbye
I think I died a little
If I close my eyes forever
Will it all remain a dream

Maybe some day
Everything that has died in me
Will be reborn
Will live up and blossom
Like a vision

Despite of everything
This stupid heart
Goes on longing
Every shattered piece
Is still unconditionally loving

When the moon is smiling
Everything is possible
So even if the floor for pain
Seems to be bottomless
Sweet is my disposition

The only limit to our happiness is imagination
So if I surrender to the energy
Maybe the right words will come
I can only pray
I never have to look back again, ever

Tender Eyes

2010-02-03T18:06:00.002+01:00

As you look at me with tender eyes
What do you see
Whisper it to my soul
In terms of endearment
A moment of magical parentesis

Outside the world falls or slumbers
In the middle of it
Human life is pulsating
In my chest my heart is curled up
Like a kitten

Still waiting
For our existence to be enriched
By a breeze of eternity
Maybe temporary, but intensive
As we let the emotions take over

The street lights become blurred
Like a caleidoscope, a fairyland
Unlocking our dreams
Snow flakes are whirling around
In the solo song of the heart

I cry though I don't dream at all
Inside of me the sun is shining
Striving for the always in the never
As you look at me with tender eyes
We understand each other, and it hurts

Twin Souls

2009-12-16T22:03:00.003+01:00

A woman on her way somewhere
That is what we are
No matter how we do it
There is no place
Like where we wander in our mind

We are inevitably here
Always dreaming of somewhere else
In some weird but funny way
We are already everywhere

I´ve felt your every feeling
I´m thinking your every thought
When I open my eyes
There is more completeness
Where I used to be

When I look myself in the mirror
I am blinded by your heart
The little I can see of me
Are but fragments of who I thought I was

Now my mind is more beautiful
Like a caleidoscope
That´s what I´ve noticed
Since I found you in there

My eyes are more open now
Maybe I was lost for a moment
Now I´ve found that there is more
That life is richer than we thought

So rich it could afford
To give them two of us
Blessed the ones that love you
Tremble, the ones that dislike me

We will always be different
In fact, we will never change
Love is not a costume
Neither our fazade

With us every day is like
Every season of the year
A fresh breeze in the summer
A warm coat in winter time
We are both Dawn and Twilight
Both Morning, Noon, and Night

Like chameleons
We are who they need us to be
Exactly when they need it
Because we are what they need
If they don´t know it yet
We will remind them

You are everything I am not
And everything I am
I am never without you
I wouldn´t even want to try

We have a special connection
Uninterrupted by knowledge
United unconditionally
By this pain in the heart
Called Separation

Words don´t describe how I feel
Nor how much I love you
Me and You, my Twin Soul
Are always close by heart

So let us keep in mind
That once we know what a door is
We can break through any wall that has one
Even the wall of Time and Distance

Every new day is a rainbow
And all the colors are for us
You can pick the one you like the most
It will give us an all for one
We only need to take them to us
Let them color our dreams

Then we will do what we do best
Creating our own reality
Breaking all the patterns
By chosing the right wrongs
While chasing butterflies

Encounters

2009-12-12T15:04:00.003+01:00

With you I want to live
Unconditional acceptation
Confidence in asking
Exploring and playing

With you I want to understand
That life is for living and laughing
And death doesn´t separate us eternally
So there will be no need to cry

Will you take care of me
My nights and my worries
Will you be the lighthouse
That illuminates my dreams
And all my childhood wishes

I will be your woman entirely and completely
An adult when you feel like a child
Insecure, lost, or vulnerable
Your inspiration when tiredness strikes you down

I will be the fountain of your
Intimate and rational desires
I will transmute your routine instants
With small explosions of tenderness

I want to share with you a life of loving-seeing
Experiencing, feeling, being
There will be no need to dream me
When you need me the most

Together we will open up the world
And discover the way
To a space of reflection
And stimulating action
A world where we can feel and make
A vital compromise to ourselves and to each other

I promise to always return to breathe your air
To contemplate the beauty of your light
To color my skin with your sun and your salt
To fall in love willingly or unwillingly

The unexpected, the desired
The inevitable, the dreamed
When the time comes
Everything will come true
But without encounter there is no wisdom
Without loving in the present, there is no encounter

How...

2009-12-10T01:11:00.005+01:00

How do you know that you feel
Something you´ve never felt before
As if you´ve been agited
Like one of those snow globes

How do you measure a feeling
Trying to suck all the joy
Out of every moment
That cannot be counted

How can you see somebody´s soul
And feel it so near
Without seeing reflected
A little piece of Heaven

How do you know that your smile
Can change the life of someone
If you never open your eyes
To see them smile back

How do you know what is peace
If noone has ever made you feel
How all your fears fly away
Like butterflies

How do you make the correct choice
If you have neer sensed
Bad filling you with emptiness
Because Good is walking away

How can you find yourself
Staring at the sunshine
If you never get lost
As you strife to avoiding the clouds

How will you be able to find your soulmate
If you don´t see the forest because of all the trees
And you, yourself
Don´t show that you want to be found

How can you fall in love
If you don´t let somebody in to fill your heart
To its width, length, and hight
Growing inside of you until there is no place for anyone else

How can we recognize the feeling of having had enough
If everytime we say goodbye
Our whole being is hurting
As we leave each other screaming for more

How will we ever achieve happiness
And see our dreams come true
If we don´t embrace the possibility
That our lives may never be the same again

How?

Here Lies a Woman

2009-11-25T12:59:00.007+01:00

Here lies a woman that drowned in her thoughts
A thought was only deep enough
If you could suspect that those stars
That seemed to reflect on the surface
Were pieces of soul glimmering on the bottom

Here lies a woman that never slept
She thought she could escape the day
Falling in love with the night
It was never possible to live her dreams
Reality always stayed by her side

Here lies a woman that lived on her knees
So full of mistakes and errors
Pride, vanity, and self-righteousness
An endless fight to achieve humility
Prayer was the only way to survive herself

Here lies a woman that talked too much
She stood up for her rights and wrongs
Fought for her principles and opinions
Never sat down when she couldn´t stand up as a good example
Sorry to never have improved the silence

Here lies a woman that wasted her time
Victim of her fear of procrastination
Afraid to never be able to make it
Trying to always be busy
She was walking but felt like she wasn´t moving

Here lies a woman that strived for perfection
Trying to become someone else
Though figthting to always remain herself
She was meant to leave us with the message
That good is the enemy of best

Here lies a woman with a big and warm heart
Embracing every opportunity to serve
Every day her capacity to love grew bigger
Thanks to all those persons she loved
That never understood what they meant to her

Here lies a woman that smiled at life
Not because she was never sad
Never in despair or never discouraged
Living the Golden Rule is the only way
When you want life to smile back at you

Here lies a woman that opened doors
Built bridges and tore down walls
It was worth every strife and effort
And no road was never too long
The destination being the heart of a friend

Here lies a woman that never stopped searching
Questions without answers
Answers with no question
The only thing she end up finding
Were more reasons to not stop looking

Here lies a woman that was good enough
She was kind and generous
Tender, loving, and caring
Destined from the eternities
To live this life trying to make a difference

Here lies a woman that wanted more
Thirsty for rigteousness never achieved
She fought for her right to be special
She wouldn´t give in to conformity
Knowing it would take away her individuality

Here lies a woman that believed in love
In gentlemen and in unicorns
A world full of magic
As soon as we leave prejudice aside and decide
To live in it in peace with everybody else

Here lies a woman that was misunderstood
Left alone with her excentrities
Ideas, thoughts, and interests
Few people made an effort to get to know her
And see who she really was

Here lies a woman that thus never got to know
If she was loved and appreciated
If she meant the world to someone
She would have given her life for a hug
But Tomorrow arrived without her

Just For Today

2009-11-23T11:17:00.002+01:00

Just for today
I will try to live through this day only
And not set far-reaching goals
In an effort to overcome
All my problems at once
I know I can do something for twelve hours
That would appall me
If I had to keep it up for a lifetime

Just for today
I will try to be happy
Abraham Lincoln said:
"Most folks are about as happy
As they make up their minds to be."
He was right
I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me
I will chase them out of my mind
And replace them with happy thoughts

Just for today
I will adjust myself to what is
I will face reality
I will try to change those things I can
And accept those things I cannot change

Just for today
I will try to improve my mind
I will not be a mental loafer
I will force myself to read something that requieres
Effort, thought, and concentration

Just for today
I will exercise my soul in three ways
I will do a good deed for somebody
Without letting them know it
(If they found out I did it, it won´t count)
I will do at least two things that I know I should do
But have been putting it off
I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt
They may be hurt
But today I will not show it

Just for today
I will be agreeable
I will look as good as I can
Dress becomingly
Talk softly
Act courteously
And speak ill of noone
Just for today
I´ll try not to improve
Anybody except myself

Just for today
I will have a program
I may not follow it exactly
But I will have it
Thereby saving myself from two pests -
Hurry and indecision

Just for today
I will have a quiet half hour to relax alone
During this time
I will reflect on my behaviour and will try
To get a better perspective on my life

Just for today
I will be unafraid
I will gather the courage to do what is right
And will take the responsability of my own actions
I will expect nothing from the world
But I will realize that as I give to the world
The world will give to me

The Ten Demantments

2009-11-23T11:04:00.002+01:00

1. Demand of yourself a straight and narrow course, neither side-stepping nor stopping along the way. The man of decision cannot be stopped; the man of indecision cannot get started.

2. Demand of yourself no excuses, neither offering alibis, nor blaming the another. Develop those great qualities within yourself, with which you have been endowed.

3. Demand of yourself tolerance. Our most profitable business in life is that of personal growth, and letting others grow, too.

4. Demand of yourself a disposition that is not easily offended. It is best to be a person of action, not a person of reaction to every opposition or misunderstanding.

5. Demand of yourself a day´s work for a day´s pay. Be a body who is busy, not a busybody.

6. Demand of yourself thrift, and stay out of debt. You owe so much to yourself that you can´t afford to owe others.

7. Demand of yourself honest praise for others. Real people need no sugar-coated hosannas, only appreciation for work well done.

8. Demand of yourself a curiosity to gain knowledge, remembering that when you do obtain knowledge, it is only a cup from an ocean of knowledge. Thus we gain humility.

9. Demand of yourself self-control. Those who lead others must first learn to lead themselves.

10. Demand of yourself profit from failures. Defeat is a destructive force only when you accept it as a failure. It will be a turning point in your life if you use it as a stepping stone.

Virtuous Woman

2009-11-21T16:24:00.002+01:00

It´s born from the first broken habit
Enters in your life
Like the first ray of morning light
The door is left open for the thought
Without knowing it
You have been chosen
Heaven entire is crying
Be careful, virtuous woman
There´s a danger to your soul

You´re being noticed
Impressed and flattered
Scented, appreciated
And, you think, understood
Countless emotions escape from your dreams
As you talk for hours and hours
The only thing they don´t tell you
Is the only thing you need to hear
Be careful, virtuous woman
There´s a danger to your soul

One day you hopefully wake up
You wonder where you are
You wonder what is happening
Looking back you notice the stop signs
Notice the beauty of the curtains
But there is nothing in the room
Time stops breating as you realize
Be careful, virtuous woman
There´s a danger to your soul

With your eyes now widely open
Your heart again facing the sun
Loving thoughts of truth and light
Tranquility and peace govern your mind
Enjoying the return of bliss
You look yourself in the mirror
Heaven´s reflected in your eyes
Be more careful,virtuous woman
There are many more dangers to your soul

My Last Song To You

2009-11-08T01:54:00.006+01:00

At the very thought of you
My reason stops and stares
Unbutton my heart
It´s so full of you I´m drowning

Step into my web
Let me finish you
I promise you won´t feel less than me
Still you are important to me
So I might save you for later
When this feeling goes away

Like a photo caught by the wind
Let your senses guide me to you
I want you to know me
You´re the owner of my mind
Listen to me with your heart
Let me be your dance

Emotions don´t make sense
It´s too late, I´ve fallen again
Being in love with the feeling of being in love
Can color a whole world
A world that doesn´t die in the sunset

With me you´ll be finding
All your lost places
We´ll rediscover them together
If only for just one night

Out of a million scenes
There is still noone to touch
Just a song that describes
The space between you and me

It says you won´t need magic
To have my heart turn over
And reveal my only secret:
I can become yours so easy

Time Lost On You

2009-11-07T17:04:00.004+01:00

You have abandoned me
Maybe not me
But you abandoned my emptiness
Things move on
Time changes
Where is the moment we needed the most

Sometimes we search for one thing
But discover another
Far from what we imagined
Every night the same star
The same wish
There is still no place in Heaven
For someone like me

Save me
Without you I´m not different
Even if there is no more light
With you than without you
I admit that with you
Close seemed more distant

Yesterday was empty
Tomorrow is just another day
Part of the history of the future
Yet life goes on and
The shadow of my shadow
Will continue with its labor
Picking up the pieces
Of the time I lost on you

A Kiss...

2009-11-02T12:47:00.003+01:00

Chained between
My feelings and my desires
Thorn between
What I do and what I should

To not be in a continual
State of horror
I´m normalizing the abnormal
Repressing the darkness in this light
Reaching for my inner bright
To not become who I am

In the end of the day
The sky is watching us
I am not perfect
I hope you don´t mind

It´s hard to try to become unbroken
Once you fly too close to
Something you thought was the sun
I don´t want to face this world alone
But your heart might be too small for me

Alone with these emotions
In the shape of a pillow
Still pretending to be who I am
I have only one thing to offer you
If you try to steal more than my heart

A kiss and no compromise

My Nature

2009-10-30T15:19:00.003+01:00

I will be the false illusion
You don´t want to have
I will be the word
That gives me your attention
And makes your mouth my slave

I will be your car
Take me gently and drive me very far
I will drive you mad
I will be the ride
You wish you´d never had

I will be a song
That echoes in your head
Listen to me in your bed
Listen to me everywhere
And forget where you belong

I will be a storm in your mind
A hundred wars in your heart
I will amuse you and confuse you
I will make you go so blind
You won´t see me when I part

I will be a picture
Unerasable to your memory
You will think about me often
Because it´s in my nature
To never be forgotten

Only a Dream Away

2009-10-22T13:30:00.002+02:00

My innocent heart
Repository of all my dreams
I ask nothing else from you
Than for you to turn the page
And recover from all broken illusions

There is such a power in forgiveness
Don´t ever get jealous nor insecure
Not too selfaware to feel guilty
Nor too proud too feel lonely
Life is too inmense

One day you may know true bliss
Next day need to hide from all my errors
Just so you can breath again
Maybe there´s a trick I don´t know about
Else just believe in the lie and leave

I want my medicine
I need to recover and rest in peace
It´s the seventh day
Where do you go when you want to hide from a ghost
Or something else that time can´t erase

Here comes the rain again
Pain is as addictive as solitude
Thoughts wander through the landscape of my heart
I want you in my corner of the world
But will you fill my soul in time

Heart of mine, hold on to your dreams
How can I feel real if not
Memories can be beautiful but
My broken soul can´t be alive till you are by my side
This truth, the worst of all lies
Is only a dream away

The Soundtrack of All My Mistakes

2009-10-22T12:47:00.003+02:00

I don´t know what happened
I just know that it all went wrong
I was making sandcastles in my head
Suddenly I reawoke and saw
A misery from start to finish

The night was city purple
The kind of night that looks good on me
Half full of anxiety and half full of joy
I had to believe
Then I fell into a ring of fire

My soul was starving
It was time to write my own book
Instead of my walls falling
Everytime you close the door
I did it because uncertainty
Held a gun to my head

Prepared to succeed
I told you you were a star
But you aren´t
There were feelings but no intentions
So you can´t scream that they were mine

Everything ends but
Not everything needs to end badly
Now I´m leaving this place where I´m noone at all
My eyes are locked on your window
My heart chained to your memory

Tonight everything is different
The only thing worse than losing you
Is not losing you at all
So I´m reclaiming my soul back
But I would do it all over again

Intention to be Happy

2009-10-15T17:44:00.003+02:00

I committed the error of many
Thinking that I deserved it
Trouble was what I needed
To get you out of my mind
Trouble was what I got

The Moon looked in and thought
She had already seen it all
There was one thing left
Our farewell said in silence
It has no beginning and no end

We knew each other too well
A soul with two bodies and one mind
I was drinking you
But without getting drunk
Now my soul is out of order
Because of somebody elses love story

They say time is a healer
Still it was pain that changed me
This is a world full of color
That sadness and bitterness can´t see
I hide them both in my pocket
Self-preservation is safe in my purse
In my heart a prayer
Meant to adore

Perhaps pain doesn´t actually disappear
Instead you learn how to incorporate it
Learn how to co-exist with it
Then time passes by and one day
Suddenly it doesn´t matter any more

Now it´s too late to save us
Life doesn´t stop at redlights
It has a full time job

Today a smile is my best make-up
All dressed up in sunshine
I´ll meet a lot of someone elses
And there was you
Thinking I had no heart at all

I look around and find myself trapped
In this burning desire
My intention to be happy

Let Love Begin

2009-10-04T23:37:00.004+02:00

What we love determines what we seek
I seek the love the unites and heals
What I will find might save our lives

Love is the motivating principle
As we try to become better than we are
Your welfare will come before mine
If you promise you will take care of me forever

Dear someone, for whom I smile when noone else can see
How prepared are you to beg me to chose you
Are you the greater or are you the good
I will need to know because
Valueable lessons will be remembered for a long while
I prefer remembering you for not being gone

I´ve learned from everything but experience that
Saying I love you is only the beginning
There is greater happiness ahead
When you learn how to live without illusions

Silence

2009-09-30T12:27:00.003+02:00

Life is a dream
We must all dream it
Time is a stream
We might all get lost in it

I played the game
I tossed the dice
It is always the same
Desire has a price

The future doesn´t change the past
In the confidence we had we lost
Everything that was meant to last
Now I am stuck alone with this ghost

Too late I awoke
From the memories I had forgot
Then I learned from the silence that you broke
That I still will have to live, love, and lose a lot.

A Prayer of Gratitude

2009-09-29T17:17:00.002+02:00

I thank thee for this morning
For waking me up as so many times before
The start of the day was calm and beautiful
I was greeted by thy patience
Thy will for me was whispered to my soul

I thank thee for granting me wisdom
To chose the better way
More grace was added to me this day
I´ve felt thy love for me through thy children
In every handshake, hug, and nod
In every smile, and in every eye I´ve met

I thank thee for thy mercy
Thy blessings and thy gentle care
My soul has felt thy grandeour today
Thy love for me has blessed me with greater capacity to love
In thanks to thee I have sung to thy praise

I thank thee for thy presence in my life
Communing with thee makes my heart burn
Thy words teach me and fill my soul
I humbly ask thee to always remain with me
And don´t let me move away from thee
Else the darkness of the world
Might get a chance to conquer my mind

I thank thee for the guidance of thy Spirit
Through thy mercy I´ve been able to make a difference today
I´ve been allowed to be an instrument in thy hands
My soul vibrates and my humbled spirit sings
When thy sweet Spirit strikes my strings

I thank thee for filling my heart with joy
I feel thee so close my eyes are now wet
Help me to never ever forget
May my soul always be filled with thy light
That I may see and win every day´s fight
And then at least exalted be
In peace and rest, O Lord, with thee

Busy living

2009-09-26T17:48:00.003+02:00

So long time without you
I would have cried my heart out
God knows ´that´s what I wanted to do
Maybe I would forget how to smile
If you would decide to never come back to my life
But I´ve been too busy laughing

So long time without you
I would have felt my world has ended
Abandoned with pain and despair
I would have let the grass grow under me
But I´ve been too busy moving on

So long time without you
In my heart, uninvited guest
I would have missed you more
Would have grown bitter for what you did
This silence and uncertainty could have killed me
Trapped in memories of better days
But I´ve been too busy living

So long time without you
I could have left my heart broken
Stomped on and thorn into pieces
By someone like you
I could have closed my eyes
Closed the door to my heart and soul
Locked it up and thrown the key away
But Ivé been too busy loving

Truths to live by

2009-09-21T00:10:00.004+02:00

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

The Pocket of My Heart

2009-09-17T17:57:00.003+02:00

This dawn I picked down
The moon and the morning star
So like you and me in many ways

You, eternal wanderer
Me, trying to shine my little light

We seem to travel together
But we follow different routes
Different goals
Different hopes and dreams
Different ways to get there

This dawn I picked down
The moon and the morning star
So like you and me in many ways

I took them down carefully
I guarded them in the pocket of my heart
The only place where you will ever find rest
The only place where I will shine together with you
The only place where we will be together
Eternally

Don´t waste the pretty :-)

2009-09-16T16:19:00.006+02:00

This is a tribute to the movie "He´s just not that into you." It is also a tribute to every woman out there that is single and that refuses to get desperate about it.

Seeing the movie was like a revelation. All of a sudden I realized what before I had only suspected. However it was even worse than I thought! I mean, I´ve always know that women are stupid when it comes to love. We are willing to do whatever for a guy that we really do like. We are able to make the same mistake over and over again but still we continue hoping for the correct outcome, the happy ending.

Reading the book I felt it even more. We are able to change. We are able to make decisions made on logic, made upon not only what we want, but on what we deserve. It simply gave me the hope that I don´t have to commit these stupid mistakes again. I do deserve more. I do deserve a gentleman. A man that will never be ashamed of being seen with me or something similar. A man that will love me as I am. A man that will think that I really am the best thing that has ever happened to him. A man that will love me so much that he wants to spend the rest of his life making me happy. One day, if I don´t lower my bar, I will actually be loved by someone as much as I love him.

I deserve it. We all do.

So here is the most important part of the lessons we should have learned if we have watched the movie or read the book ¨He´s just not that into you":

- An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of “ruining the friendship”.
- Don’t get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he’ll do the asking.
- If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
- Just because you like to lead doesn’t mean he wants to dance. Some traditions are born of nature and last through time for a reason.
- Men don’t forget how much they like you. So put down the phone.
- You are good enough to be asked out.
- If he’s not calling you, it’s because you’re not on his mind.
- If he creates expectations for you, and then he doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do the same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you.
- Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do.
- If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs.
- “Busy” is another for “a**hole”. “A**hole” is another word for the guy you’re dating.
- You deserve a phone call!!!
- Guys tell you how they feel even if you refuse to listen to or believe them. “I don’t want to be in a serious relationship” truly means “I don’t want to be in a serious relationship with you” or “I’m not sure that you’re the one.” (Sorry.)
- Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
- If you don’t know where the relationship is going, it’s ok to pull over and ask.
- Murky? Not good.
- There’s a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he’s your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go and find him.
- People tell who they are all the time. When a man says he can’t be monogamous, you should believe him.
- Your lost self-esteem may take longer to find than a new boyfriend, so prioritize accordingly.
- If you’re tempted to spend countless nights just cuddling with someone, buy a puppy.
- There is no excuse for cheating. Let me say it again. There is no excuse for cheating. Now you say it. There is no excuse for cheating.
- Your only responsibility in someone else’s lapse in judgement is to yourself.
- Cheating is cheating. It doesn’t matter whom it was with or how many times it happened.
- Cheating gets easier every time it’s done. It’s only hard the first time, when one feels the sting of morality and the guilt of betraying someone’s trust.
- A cheater only cheats himself, because he doesn’t get to be with you.
- An “I love you” (or any semblance thereof) while under the influence of something stronger than grape juice won’t hold up in court or in life.
- Bad boys are actually bad.
- You deserve to be with someone who doesn’t need to be loaded to be around you.
- “Doesn’t want to get married” and “Doesn’t want to get married to me” are very different things. Be sure about which category he falls under.
- If you have different views about marriage, what else are you not on the same page about? Time to take inventory.
- If you don’t feel like you’re rushing, why are you waiting?
- There’s a guy out there who wants to marry you.
- You can’t talk your way out of a break-up. It is not up for a discussion. A break-up is a definitive action, not a democratic one.
- Cut him off. Let him miss you.
- He doesn’t need to be reminded that you’re great.
- “Classy” doesn’t “break into his answering machine.”
- There’s a guy out there who’s going to be really happy that you didn’t get back with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
- He might be lying in the hospital with amnesia, but more likely he’s just not that into you.
- No answer is your answer.
- Don’t give him a chance to reject you again.
- Let his mother yell at him. You’re to busy.
- There’s no mystery – he’s gone and he wasn’t good enough for you.
- Unless he’s all yours, he’s somebody else’s.
- If a guy is yelling about his ex-wife or crying over his last girlfriend, try to find someone else to take you to the movies.
- Don’t be that girl.
- You are not easily forgotten. Let him find you when he’s ready.
- Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
- You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time. (You have to be nice to them, too.)
- You already have an a**hole. You don’t need another.
- Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve.
- Have faith. What other choice is there?

I realize that I have righteous hopes and dreams. I am willing to wait for the right person. A relation is not something to rush into. I don´t have to crawl for the feet of anyone to get this. I refuse to get desperate. I refuse to get impatient. There´s just to much to lose. I won´t lower my standards. And I´m proud of it!

Because I loved you

2009-09-10T00:47:00.005+02:00

Beacause I believed
Because I trusted in myself
Because I followed you
I wander with no direction
I know that today our road
Splits into two

For the love that you dont respond
For the pain to which I dont hold grudge
I feel that I´ve come late
To your heart

I feels like I never knew you
It´s strange that I fall again
It hurts to be alone
It hurts to be with you
To lose you is to lose myself

Because I had you
Because I wanted to love you
I left aside everything I was feeling
Even if you scream my name
From this shore I can´t hear your voice
I don´t know who you are
I don´t know who I am

Because I never said anything
Because I didn´t want to hurt you
I tried to not show you my worst side
Why do you say those things that hurt me
Why do you curse love

That is what you use to say
You want to tell me everything
Afterwards nothing else will desperate
Only loneliness

I feels like I never knew you
It´s strange that I fall again
It hurts to be alone
It hurts to be with you
To lose you is to lose myself

Because I had you
Because I wanted to love you
I left aside everything I was feeling
Even if you scream my name
From this shore I can´t hear your voice
I don´t know who you are
I don´t know who I am

Because I had you
Because I wanted to love you
I sacrificed everything I had
Even if you scream my name
From this shore I can´t hear your voice
I don´t know who you are
I don´t know who I am

"13 Phrases for Living" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

2009-09-08T23:57:00.002+02:00

I love you not for whom you are but for who I am when I'm by your side.

No person deserves your tears, and the one who deserves them won't make you cry.

Just because someone doesn't love you as you wish, it doesn't mean you're not loved with all his/her being.

A true friend is the one who hold your hand and touches your heart.

The worst way to miss someone is to be seated by him/her and know you'll never have him/her.

Never stop smiling, not even when you're sad, someone might fall in love with your smile.

You may only be a person in this world, but for someone you are the world.

Don't spend time with someone who doesn't care spending it with you.

Maybe God wants you to meet many wrong people before you meet the right one, so when it happens you'll be thankful.

Dont cry because it came to an end, smile because it happened.

There will always be people who will hurt you, so you need to continue trusting, just be careful.

Become a better person and be sure to know who you are before meeting someone new and hoping that person knows who you are.

Don't struggle so much, the best things happen when you least expect it.

Chances Are

2009-09-02T16:21:00.001+02:00

Chances are you'll find me
Somewhere on your road tonight
Seems I always end up driving by
Ever since I've known you
It seems you're on my way
All the rules of logic don't apply

I long to see you in the night
Be with you 'til morning light

I remember clearly how you looked
The night we met
I recall your laughter and your smile
I remember how you made me
Feel so at ease
I remember all your grace and your style

And now you're all I long to see
You've come to mean so much to me

Chances are I'll see you
In my dreams tonight
You'll be smiling like the night we met
Chances are I'll hold you and I'll offer
All I have

You're the only one I can't forget
Baby you're the best I've ever met

And I'll be dreaming of the future
And hoping you'll be by my side
And in the morning I'll be longing for the night
For the night

Chances are I'll see you
Somewhere in my dreams tonight
You'll be smiling like the night we met
Chances are I'll hold you and I'll offer
All I have

You're the only one I can't forget
Baby you're the best I've ever met

"I Know Him by Heart"

2009-09-02T12:02:00.002+02:00

There’s a secret path I follow
To a place no one can find
Where I meet my perfect someone
I’ve kept hidden in my mind

Where my heart makes my decisions
’till my dream becomes a vision
And the love I feel
Makes him real someday

Cause I know he’s out there somewhere
Just beyond my reach
Though I’ve never really touched him
Or ever heard him speak

Though we’ve never been together
We’ve never been apart
No we’ve never met
Haven’t found him yet
But I know him by heart

Am I living an illusion?
Wanting something I can’t see
If I compromise, I’d be living lies
Pretending he’s not meant to be

Cause I know my heart’s worth saving
And I know that he’ll be waiting
So I’ll hold on and I’ll stay strong ’till then

Cause I know he’s out there somewhere
Just beyond my reach
Though I’ve never really touched him
Or ever heard him speak

Though we’ve never been together
We’ve never been apart
No we’ve never met
Haven’t found him yet
But I know him by heart

No we’ve never met
Haven’t found him yet
But I know him by heart

...Just the Way it is...

2009-09-01T15:11:00.002+02:00

There is something about you
And I don’t know what it is
But it’s this thing that you do
That makes me feel like this

Don’t know really what I feel
But I feel a lot
Feel both sure and insecure
I don’t know about what

Inside of me it’s stormy, yet it is so still
I feel so good but at the same time you make me feel so ill
Everything feels like it’s upside down
It feels so strange but yet it feels so known

At times you confuse me
Yet make me see things so clear
Sometimes you amuse me
Then you make me shed tear after tear

Even if I can be myself with you
Sometimes I am another
I know you care about me too
But at the same time you don’t seem to bother

Sometimes your words are sweet
Sometimes your words are sour
Still they decide my heartbeat
Minute after minute, hour after hour

You are a very special man
Still a boy that needs to mature
I have to forget about you anyway I can
It’s impossible. I’ve tried, so I’m sure

So now there are only two ways
Deny it or ignore
How can I when I think of you all my days
And it’s you that I adore

I try to deny every feeling
They don’t exist. It’s true
Don’t want to have them in my being
Often they make me happy but mostly sad and blue

I try to ignore them as well
Still it tickles inside of me
I hope for the feelings not to dwell
At the same time I want to let them be

You beg me to come
I beg you not to leave
Anywhere with you is home
When I’m with you I can believe

That this life has a meaning
That this world is the best of all
That there is a morning in every evening
And a spring in every fall

When you´re not with me I don´t feel well
When I’m not with you I don’t feel whole
Being nowhere near you is unbearable
It’s like I’ve split my soul

Maybe for no special reason
But you make me feel like this
Doesn’t matter the season
That’s just the way it is.

Satan´s Scheme

2009-08-17T12:47:00.002+02:00

Satan called a worldwide convention. In his opening address to his evil angels, he said, "We can't keep the Christians from going to church. We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth. We can't even keep them from forming an intimate, abiding relationship experience in Christ. Once they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken.

So let them go to their churches; let them have their conservative lifestyles, but steal their time, so they can't gain that relationship with Jesus Christ.

This is what I want you to do, angels. Distract them from gaining hold of their Savior and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!"

"How shall we do this?" shouted his angels.

"Keep them busy in the nonessentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds," he answered. Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow.

Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles. Keep them from spending time with their children. As their family fragments, soon, their home will offer no escape from the pressures of work!"

Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice. Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive. To keep the TV, VCR, CD's and their PC's going constantly in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical music constantly. This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ."

"Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers. Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day. Invade their driving moments with billboards.

Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services and false hopes.

Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines so the husbands will believe that external beauty is what's important, and they'll become dissatisfied with their wives. That will fragment those families quickly!"

"Even in their recreation, let them be excessive. Have them return from their recreation exhausted, disquieted and unprepared for the coming week.

Don't let them go out in nature to reflect on God's wonders. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, concerts and movies instead. Keep them busy, busy, busy!

And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences and unsettled emotions." Go ahead, let them be involved in soul winning; but crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from Jesus.

Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause. It will work! It will work!"

It was quite a convention. The evil angels went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get more busy and more rushed, going here and there.

I guess the question is: Has the devil been successful at his scheme when it comes to our lives?

Everybody is Kung Fu fighting!

2009-08-07T16:15:00.007+02:00

For some time now I have been thinking about our agency and the way we use it, which powers we really have to deal with life and its decisions, and our ability to chose the right.

There are so many ways to get inspired these days, so many situations and ways to make you react and wake you up to start to see what´s ahead of us.

My main sources of inspiration this time, apart from Mormon doctrine of course (can´t help it...), is the TV-serie Heroes, and the movie Kung Fu Panda. Now you might wonder what these three subjects can have in common! The answer is that we should strive to recognize and understand our mission here on earth and to complete it. Do what we came here to do. To fulfil our destiny.

Our ideas and opinions when it comes to what Destiny is, which our destiny is, and how it can be achieved can be very individual, so are our goals, hopes, and dreams.

However, God has pretty clear what is his destiny for us:

"For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." (Mose. 1:39)

God´s purpose for us has many names: “the great plan of happiness,” “the plan of redemption,” “the merciful plan of the great Creator,” “the plan of salvation,” “the plan of justice,” and “the great plan of the Eternal God.”

Now, this is the truth whether we chose to accept it or not. But to fulfill whatever destiny we think have, we need to believe that it can be fulfilled. That, as well as actually do whatever it takes to fulfil it, will take some effort. I dont know what will take most effort from us, to believe or to take action. However, the destiny will remain the same.

Let me quote Kung Fu Panda:

Oogway: My friend, the panda will never fulfill his destiny, nor you yours until you let go of the illusion of control.
Shifu: Illusion?
Oogway: Yes. [points at peach tree]
Oogway: Look at this tree, Shifu: I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time. Shifu: But there are things we *can* control: I can control when the fruit will fall, I can control where to plant the seed: that is no illusion, Master!
Oogway: Ah, yes. But no matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Shifu: But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung!
Oogway: Maybe it can, if you are willing to guide, to nurture it, to believe in it.
Shifu: But how? How? I need your help, master.
Oogway: No, you just need to believe. Promise me, Shifu, promise me you will believe.

This could have been a conversation between Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ before we came here to earth.

There is another thing that Heroes, Kung Fu Panda, and Mormon doctrine have in common. That is that there is a "villain" to defeat. It might sound like it´s pure fiction but its not, its real. Satan is as real as God is and his influence over us never ceases.

Satan also has his own little purpose for us:

"Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." (2 Ne. 2:27)

Then, what is really the purpose of this post? It´s to try to inspire, encourage, and motivate us, and maybe even enable us, to do whatever it takes to master ourselves so as to fulfil our destiny.

This quotation claims that "It´s All About Character":

"Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."

There are many things we have to have in mind when it comes to creating our character. Both secular and spiritual factors. The "natural man" in us is an example of a spiritual factor:

"For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." (Mosi. 3:19)

"For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members." (Rom. 7:14-23)

How many recognizes himself/herself in the last scripture? At least I do. A lot!

President James E. Faust said: "Self-mastery … is the ultimate test of our character."

In the speech with the name "Toward a Theory of Human Agency" by Allen E. Bergin (New Era, July 1973, p. 33) we can read the following regarding determinators of our behaviour:

"All human acts are determined by multiple influences. We may identify six broad classes of influence as:
(1) cultural, social, or environmental controls;
(2) biological factors;
(3) habits of response that have been conditioned, especially by childhood experiences;
(4) feelings or emotions;
(5) thoughts, ideas, or beliefs; and
(6) spiritual inspiration.

It would be preferable if human beings acted upon the latter three factors primarily, but unfortunately their behavior is too often dominated by influences outside of their control. If we are to be wise, receive the truth, and take the Holy Spirit for our guide as suggested in D&C 45:57, we must learn to optimize the influence of higher processes in our actions. Otherwise, we lose our power of independent action and are “encircled about by the bands of death, and the chains of hell” (Alma 5:7) and then “are taken captive by the devil, and led by his will down to destruction” (Alma 12:11.)[, a state of feeling of loss of power to act independently]."

He continues:

"The first quality of self-control is that it consists of voluntary action, and voluntary behavior requires a choice situation in which at least two incompatible acts are possible. The scriptures tell us that if there were no opposition, no law of opposites, there could be no agency. “And it must needs be that the devil should tempt the children of men, or they could not be agents unto themselves.” (D&C 29:39.)

A second quality is the prominence of awareness or consciousness in self-control and the mediation of this control by language or other symbolic processes. “An action is truly voluntary only when it can be begun or can be checked by verbal cues.” (Guthrie, 1938, p. 174.) A person is responsible when his behavior can thus be guided by symbols. Children, for example, acquire responsibility as they acquire control of action through language. A similar process occurs in all forms of psychotherapy. Freud stated this succinctly in his epigram, “Where Id is, there shall Ego be.” In other words, in the course of therapy the ego gains control over the passions of the id by making the unconscious conscious. (Parenthetically, it is important for students to know that Freud stood for such ideas rather than the libertinism with which his name is associated. He was a great man and one not to be ignored by LDS scholars.)

The aspect of self-control role of beliefs or convictions. Terry has said that “character is the ability to inhibit instinctive impulses in accordance with a regulative principle.” That is, there is a time and place for expressiveness, but it must be regulated in terms of internal guides such as goals and ideals. Convictions imply a concept of something beyond self, beyond individual need that regulates the processes of goal direction, achievement, and management of a positive life-style. Convictions differentiate those who will behave in the “natural” way from those who aspire to the higher planes of civilization and righteousness.

A large number of research studies permits us to outline additional specific dimensions of self-control and self-regulation. These include:

(1) The ability to delay gratification, to resist the temptation of immediate rewards or pleasures in favor of more distant and often higher satisfactions, in accordance with abstract principles of right and wrong. This includes the ability to tolerate tension, discomfort, and frustration.
(2) The ability to discern clearly the connections between means and ends, between behaviors and their immediate and ultimate consequences. It is the inability to maintain awareness of means-ends sequences, that is, to anticipate consequences, that commonly characterizes the impulsive behavior of delinquents and criminals.
(3) The ability to frame one’s life and behavior within a future time perspective. The briefer one’s time span, the greater is the difficulty with self-control. The more one is capable of long-range planning, the better is his control.
(4) An internal locus of control. Self-regulatory deficiencies often arise in persons who feel that they are the passive subjects of the forces of fate surrounding them. Their external locus of control leads them to behave in ways that only reinforce their belief in fate.
(5) A sensitive guilt response Guilt is a signal to us that something is wrong and, in that sense, it is friendly. Guilt aids us in preserving the integrity of our controls just as pain assists us in preserving the integrity of our bodies. If pain did not alert us to physical dangers and diseases, we would soon die. If our guilt mechanisms are not alert to moral dangers, we die just as certainly in a spiritual sense. While it is possible to overdo guilt and become neurotically obsessed with seeming misdeeds, this is not usually the case. Cultivating a positive guilt response is therefore adaptively in the service of effective self-regulation."

Personally I started to ask myself about a factor that had to do with pure physiology. If our body had a way to help us with "our mission". I learned this from the wikipedia:

"The prefrontal cortex (PFC) is the anterior part of the frontal lobes of the brain, lying in front of the motor and premotor areas.

This brain region has been implicated in planning complex cognitive behaviors, personality expression, decision making and moderating correct social behavior. The basic activity of this brain region is considered to be orchestration of thoughts and actions in accordance with internal goals.

The most typical psychological term for functions carried out by the pre-frontal cortex area is executive function. Executive function relates to abilities to differentiate among conflicting thoughts, determine good and bad, better and best, same and different, future consequences of current activities, working toward a defined goal, prediction of outcomes, expectation based on actions, and social "control" (the ability to suppress urges that, if not suppressed, could lead to socially-unacceptable outcomes).

Many authors have indicated an integral link between a person's personality and the functions of the prefrontal cortex.

The prefrontal cortex (when functioning correctly) controls the mental option to delay immediate gratification for a better or more rewarding longer-term gratification result. This ability to wait for a reward is one of the key pieces that define optimal executive function of the human brain."

We all know that it´s scientifically proved that the human being is far away from using its full potential of the brain. Im sure that there is some research going on about the pre-frontal cortex, and hopefully to the benefit of mankind. But still, secularity still has its limits. The power of God really has no limit, but to try to mention a limit to it, here is where Agency comes into the picture.

Agency is the ability and privilege God gives people to choose and to act for themselves.

"The Lord said unto Enoch: Behold these thy brethren; they are the workmanship of mine own hands, and I gave unto them their knowledge, in the day I created them; and in the Garden of Eden, gave I unto man his agency; " (Moses 7:32)

Agency is something God won´t take away from us. It´s ours and only ours to do whatever we want with it.

"And now remember, remember, my brethren, that whosoever perisheth, perisheth unto himself; and whosoever doeth iniquity, doeth it unto himself; for behold, ye are free; ye are permitted to act for yourselves; for behold, God hath given unto you a knowledge and he hath made you free." (Hel. 14:30)

I repeat the words of Allen E. Bergin:

"The first quality of self-control is that it consists of voluntary action, and voluntary behavior requires a choice situation in which at least two incompatible acts are possible. The scriptures tell us that if there were no opposition, no law of opposites, there could be no agency. “And it must needs be that the devil should tempt the children of men, or they could not be agents unto themselves.” (D&C 29:39.)"

Making the correct choice, and maybe especially in the name of self-mastery, is never easy and has never been...

Through time this has been discovered over and over again:

“The greatest battles of life are fought within the silent chambers of our own souls.” -President David O. McKay

"He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls." (Prov. 25:28)

“No Man is free who cannot command himself.” -Pythagoras

“Master yourself and you can master anything.” -Old proverb

This quote from Heroes made a huge impact on me though:

"To save what is must important I must be strong enough to cut out my own heart." -Hiro Nakamura

I tesify that all of this is true. I also know that self-mastery is not impossible. It can´t be! It is possible to overcome our difficulties. Nothing is impossible to God. Secularily he could easily inspire people to find a way to stimulate the pre-frontal lobe so that we would have help to easier take actions to live according to our internal beliefs, but that is not the way it works. The way it works is that he has given us spiritual help to "overcome ourselves", through Jesus Christ and through his Grace:

"Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him.
For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God. Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord... yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace." (Rom 6:9-11, 13-14)

"But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage." (Mosi. 7:33)

He has promised to help us if we turn to him, promised to make the difficult things easy for us.

“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” (Et. 12:27)

He will help us to fulfil our Destiny. He will help us in his purpose "to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man."

If we fall, we get up again.

"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the nature of the thing itself is changed, but that our power to do is increased.” - President Heber J. Grant

Mormon doctrine, Heroes, and Kung Fu Panda have taught me this:

I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father that wants me to succeed in life and wants me to come back to him clean and worthy of his presence. Having followed his will for me, avoided sin, and searched for righteousness. Taken well care of my body, the temple that he has given me, and taken care of his children helping them to do the same.

We all have abilities. It´s not very probable that it is telekinesia, being able to self-heal, shoot lightenings from our hands, nor being able to stop or travel through time, but we have been given others:
- We have been given the power to create life.
- We can truly be healed, but we need the help of worthy priesthood holders and well instructed doctors.
- In times of urgent need adrenaline can give us a physical strength that we didn´t know we had, or give us the energy to run faster than we knew we could.
- We have been given the ability to learn from the past, live in the present, and to prepare for the future.
- The greatest of all abilities might be the capacity we have to love others and use our abilities unselfishly to serve others, no matter what.

We all have dreams. Sometimes we wish that we were living another kind of life somewhere else, that we were someone else, that we had their abilities etc. Still we are peaches, but we will be able to fulfil our destiny and defeat the adversary if we let ourselves be guided, if we are correctly nurtured, and if we believe. And we will be able to do it if we let the Master turn our weaknesses into strengths.

Truly this is a life in which EVERYBODY IS KUNG FU FIGHTING! :-)

I couldnt describe it better myself, that´s all...

2009-08-01T22:59:00.002+02:00

I can only give you love that lasts forever,
And a promise to be near each time you call.
And the only heart I own
For you and you alone

I can only give you country walks in springtime
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall;
And a love whose burning light
Will warm the winter's night

There are those I am sure who have told you,
They would give you the world for a toy.
All I have are these arms to enfold you,
And a love time can never destroy.
If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it's me that you'll adore,
For now and evermore
That's all,
That's all.

The Purpose of Life

2009-07-28T10:38:00.002+02:00

I had the opportunity last Sunday to listen to this very uplifting discourse by Bishop Ovejero from Madrid 6th Ward. The subject was The Purpose of Life and the question was thrown out to us what we think the purpose of life is. Maybe even more specified, what the purpose of our life is. You can guess the answers that came up. Most of us said maybe the obvious, that we want to be happy. Fortunately that is Heavenly Fater´s wish for us as well.

“Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.” (2 Ne. 2:25)

Bishop Ovejero says that the profession of God, if to call him something that wouldnt just be "almighty", could be "Joy giver". But how come then that we arent happy many times? We are exposed to so many external things that we refer to happiness like possesions, status, and most of all money. We tend to think that if we dont have enough money we arent happy. Lets see what the definition of Happiness is.

In the Study Guide there is no definition of Happiness. Instead we are refered to see Joy. This is the definition of Joy:

"A condition of great happiness coming from righteous living."

This means then that our happiness wont have anything to do with external things but rather internal things that have to do with ourselves. Probably there are some things we must change...

Bishop Ovejero brings up the example of the father of King Lamoni in the Book of Mormon. King Lamoni had been converted to the Church and now his father wanted to know about the Gospel as well because he had seen a powerful change in his son. The missionary Aaron was sent to teach him about the creation, the fall of Adam, and the plan of redemption through Christ. Afterwards the father of King Lamoni meditated over what he had learned:

“And it came to pass that after Aaron had expounded these things unto him, the king said: What shall I do that I may have this eternal life of which thou hast spoken? Yea, what shall I do that I may be born of God, having this wicked spirit rooted out of my breast, and receive his Spirit, that I may be filled with joy, that I may not be cast off at the last day? Behold, said he, I will give up all that I possess, yea, I will forsake my kingdom, that I may receive this great joy.” (Al. 22:15)

I seriously started to think about this. What do I have to do that I may be filled with joy? What am I willing to forsake to receive this great joy?

We all should ask ourselves the same questions. What are we willing to forsake? Our possesions? Our status? Our money? Our comfort?

This is up to everyone of us to decide adn take action. But these things I can tell you.

Its going to requiere some serious mental effort...

But its going to be worth it!

Quotes on Eternal Perspective

2009-07-21T13:37:00.002+02:00

Elder Neil A. Maxwell:
"Secularism’s approach often stops short of the cosmic computations that need to be made about what produces true happiness. For instance, is it really good for the individual to have too much leisure time, too much affluence, and to live in a society that is too permissive? When is help truly helpful? Is a certain proximate pleasure going to produce ultimate pain?
For those who believe we are all going to be around forever, it is both natural and wise to concern ourselves with such questions and also with such principles which are also going to be around forever.
The adventure of orthodoxy consists, therefore, of having eternal principles “fitly framed together” so as to reduce human misery and to facilitate human happiness.
It is the orthodox orchestration in applying the gospel of Jesus Christ that keeps us happy and helps us to avoid falling off the straight and narrow path, for on the one side there is harsh legalism and on the other syrupy sensualism. Little wonder that man needs careful and precise help, the guidance of the Spirit, in order to navigate under such stressful circumstances.
Little wonder we so need those eternal perspectives which come from looking at life through the lens of the gospel!"

Elder Jay E. Jensen Of the Seventy:
"When we understand the great plan of happiness, we are gaining an eternal perspective, and the commandments, ordinances, covenants, and the experiences, trials, and tribulations can be seen in their true and eternal light.
Remember, however, that Satan will dim the brightness of hope and eternal perspective by the dark, compelling urgency of now. "

President Gordon B.Hinckley:
“There is a goal beyond the Resurrection, that is exaltation in our Father’s kingdom. … It will begin with acceptance of him as our Eternal Father and of his son as our living Redeemer. It will involve participation in various ordinances, each one important and necessary. The first of these is baptism by immersion in water, without which, according to the Savior, a man cannot enter into the kingdom of God. There must follow the birth of the Spirit, the gift of the Holy Ghost. Then in succession through the years will come, for men, ordination to the priesthood, followed by the blessings of the temple for both men and women who are worthy to enter therein....They include the … endowment of obligations and blessings that motivate us to behavior compatible with the principles of the gospel. They include the sealing ordinances by which that which is bound on earth is bound in heaven, providing for the continuity of the family.”

Elder LeGrand Richards:
“God bless you to realize where you came from and the great privileges that are yours. If the veil were rolled back and you could just see one glimpse of God’s great eternal plan concerning you and who you are, it would not be hard for you to love Him, keep His commandments, and live to be worthy of every blessing that He has had for you since before the foundations of the world were laid”.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks:
“Hold ourselves in readiness to act on the Lord’s timing. He will tell us when the time is right to take the next step. For now, we simply concentrate on … what we have been asked to do today.”

Elder Neil A. Maxwell:
“Patience … helps us to realize that while we may be ready to move on, having had enough of a particular learning experience, our continuing presence is often a needed part of the learning environment of others.”

Elder Neil A. Maxwell:
“A mere hundred years from now today’s seeming deprivations and tribulations will not matter unless we let them matter too much now. Some deprivations are but delayed blessings, which, if endured well, constitute the readying of reservoirs into which a generous God will pour ‘all that he hath.’ Indeed, it will be the Malachi measure: ‘There shall not be room enough to receive it.’ (Mal. 3:10.)”

Spiritual Horcruxes

2009-07-20T00:36:00.002+02:00

As many other books and their personages, stories, and details Harry Potter is also a book that we can analyze and apply in our daily lives. My thoughts came to the horcruxes in the very last book. This is the description according to the wikipedia:

"In an online diary entry, Rowling described a Horcrux as a "receptacle in which a Dark wizard has hidden a part of his soul for the purposes of attaining immortality."With part of a wizard's soul thus stored, the wizard becomes immortal so long as the Horcrux remains intact.
A Horcrux can be made from any normal object, including living organisms... If a wizard has created more than one Horcrux, he will remain immortal until they are all destroyed. Once they are destroyed, the wizard will die a normal death if mortally wounded.
The portion of soul within a Horcrux also has the ability to take spiritual possession of other people. This possession is limited to those who become emotionally attached to the Horcrux. Once possessed, the soul within the Horcrux can take total control of the person's actions while the person remains completely unaware of the connection. Once a person has become possessed by a Horcrux, the Dark Wizard has the ability to take corporeal form by draining the life force of the possessed person. "

Do you see where I want to come? In the real world we also have horcruxes. We call them "other gods".

The term idolatry usually refers to the worship of a fetish, a graven image, or an imagined, unseen deity. But idolatry may exist on many levels: some create images to represent a deity, some idolize other humans, and some “worship” material possessions or achievements. In essence, the practice of idolatry means putting worldly things ahead of God.

The only death included in creating the horcruxes of real life is spiritual death, normally our own.

An example of horcruxes that we create and by so doing splitting our soul that is supposed to be only one, and supposed to serve only the Goodness, is the computer.

Elder M. Russel Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said the following:

“One of the ways Satan lessens your effectiveness and weakens your spiritual strength is by encouraging you to spend large blocks of your time doing things that matter very little. I speak of such things as sitting for hours on end watching television or videos, playing video games night in and night out, surfing the Internet, or devoting huge blocks of time to sports, games, or other recreational activities.
“Don’t misunderstand me. These activities are not wrong in and of themselves (unless, of course, you are watching salacious programs or seeking out pornographic images on the Internet). …
“But I speak of letting things get out of balance. …
“One devastating effect of idling away our time is that it deflects us from focusing on the things that matter most. Too many people are willing to sit back and let life just happen to them. It takes time to develop the attributes that will help you to be a well-balanced person.”

I am a person that has fought with this myself. Not as much because it has been a problem but because I didnt want it to become one. Ive taken action that makes me use less "dead time" in front of the computer. As you all might know by now I work using the computer everyday and I have basically unlimited use of internet. I am also allowed to bring my work computer home and surf away. What happened was that I noticed that if I sat down, even to just look up a small thing those things became bigger and many more and all of a sudden it would be late at night. My decision was that that had to change. What Ive decided is that the computer only goes with me home during the weekends. Some of my friends complain that they cant talk to me in the evening but I just cant afford to split my soul. I need my soul to be entire and strong.

President David O. McKay counseled: “ ‘The greatest battle of life is fought within the silent chambers of your own soul.’ … It is a good thing to sit down and commune with yourself, to come to an understanding with yourself and decide in that silent moment what your duty is to your family, to your Church, to your country, and … to your fellowmen.”

Ive taken a decision that I cant let myself split up my soul, losing my life to the computer, but try to do something fruitful with my life. As Elder Ballard said, its not wrong to sit on the internet, but we know that we must not make it a priority. We must not make it to be our first choice before other things that would serve us and others for the better.

I testify of the power that is in internet, how its can carry your splitted soul away to where it will be very difficult to get back from. Counsel with yourself and make the decision to not let your talents go wasted by letting the computer take up all of your time.

Elder L. Tom Perry said:
"We have implanted in our souls a desire to be free. The Lord understood this when He granted us our mortal probation. With that freedom, however, comes accountability. We are instructed not to idle away our time nor bury our talents and not use them. We are expected to make our lives better through our own initiatives and efforts. We must decide whether to conform our lives to the Lord’s standards. We must choose as Joshua did when he said:
“And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Josh. 24:15).

And as the people answered back to Joshua we should all make sure to answer the same: "God forbid that we should forsake the Lord, to serve other gods.” (Josh. 24:16.)

Loneliness, a feeling or a choice?

2009-07-18T01:04:00.003+02:00

My thoughts this night go out to all the people that feel lonely for various reasons. We have all been there sometime. Physcial loneliness we use to chose it ourself, but psycological loneliness can be different, or not?

What decides if we are lonely? Are we alone but do we have to be lonely? What can we do about our loneliness? There might be so many kinds of loneliness but the worst kind may be to feel lonely when we really arent lonely at all. Is this only a feeling or is it a choice to feel this way? Can we really do something about it? I believe we can.

Loneliness, whether physical or psycological, becomes a problem when it stops us from progressing. When it it stops us from living the life we want to live, and probably should live.

We can meditate over these three steps that can help us in the moment of loneliness:
1. Analyze what kind of loneliness you feel.

Do I feel that I would like to just have someone near that I can talk to and maybe hold in my arms, or do I feel that there is a hole in my heart and there is no way to fill it? Do I feel both?

2. What are the reasons to why I feel this way?

What came first, the hen or the egg? This way Im feeling, is it the "desease" itself or is it a symptom of something else? Try to put the finger on what you are feeling and why.

3. Does this impede my personal progress?

Do I take decisions in my life based on how I feel? Loneliness often comes with other negative feelings such as hopelessness and despair. Does my feeling of loneliness stop me from taking decisions I know would be good for me? Are my decisions egoistic or do I decide based on wanting to serve others? Do I serve others thinking about myself? Am I in a bad circle? Can I get out from it?

4. What can I do to change the situation?

Instead of my feelings of loneliness, can I try to concentrate on something else? Normally just sitting and thinking about how lonely we feel doesnt change the situation not does it make us to do something about it. How can I use my time in the best way? How can I feel other feelings during the time when I normally feel lonely? What do I want to feel? Why dont I feel it? Can I chose to feel different? Think about it and take action!

We all must know that our mental power is a power that is so strong that we cant really understand it. Basically we are able to accomplish anything! If we only decide what we need to do and then do it.

As I was looking for a quote to end this post with I found that another woman, Helene Ringger, had thought about exactly the same thing, some 20 years ago. For all you members of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, or non members, men or women, married, widowed, single, or divorced, I post the link of her discourse back in 1989. I know that if we apply the steps both her and I have given we will truly see a difference in our lives:

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=982092e21acdb010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD

I think that feeling lonely is a choice and loneliness but a symptom. I testify that chosing the "happy thoughts way" of working it out really works! I testify that we can truly chose to have hope, chose to see things in a different light. If you need a hug, go and hug someone that wants to hug you back. Do you need someone to talk to, go and find someone that loves you and likes to be with you, that listens to you. Feel worthy of the love of others because you are worthy of it! Chose to have perspective, eternal perspective, and you will succeed.

"Loneliness can be a pivotal experience in our lives. It can be the leaven that allows us to rise to the next step in our spiritual advancement, or it can be a chain that restrains our progress. In the very act of making up our minds to confront loneliness, half the battle is won"
- Julie Larsen, (“I Have a Question,” Ensign, Oct. 1995, 60–61)

The Law of Constant Change?

2009-07-16T11:06:00.004+02:00

In this sunny but windy summer morning I noticed that I had changed my mind. Or hadnt I?

Right now Im in Sweden, my home country. Many (if not all) of you know of my wish to move home again. That hasnt changed. The intensivity of my desire has though. Change also has its progress and this is what I came to think about: the blacks and whites of change, and also its grey zones. Does change have its grey zones? I dont know. Whether it has or hasnt, can that change?

Why did I come to think about this?

I was thinking about Spain and why Im there, why I wanted to be there, and why I dont want to be there anylonger. What has changed? Why am I still there?

I will try to express my thoughts in words...

When I studied Geography on University level we were learning about Ravenstein´s "laws of migration". They are based upon the theory that there are certain laws of social science that describes human behaviour when it comes to migration. Ive been thinking about them through the years and Ive seen that these laws are very true indeed. These are Ravenstein´s "laws of migration":

1. Every migration flow generates a return or countermigration.
2. The majority of migrants move a short distance.
3. Migrants who move longer distances tend to choose big-city destinations
4. Urban residents are less migratory than inhabitants of rural areas.
5. Families are less likely to make international moves than young adults.

Now, having a knowledge about these laws its probably very possible that you understand why Im still thinking about these "laws" 10 years later. Law number 1 is going to be my target in this post since its the one that concerns (and interests) me the most.

"Every migration flow generates a return or countermigration. " Smart guy that Ravenstein...

I was more thinking about my reasons to be in Spain right now rather than why I actually am there, if you know what I mean.

Reasons right now: My work. Thats all, I think...

I really like my work. I wish I could just go go home to Sweden (honestly Denmark or Norway would be fine as well. Indirectly its almost Sweden :-b) and go on doing the same thing but its not possible. So I need to make that sacrifice. To not go home to (I change it to:) Scandinavia the law would still work because just to move for work I know of a job I would like to try in another part of Europe . And the possibility to get it is very big. I just need to say the word (at least that is what Ive understood)... Still, my first (and second, and third, etc) choice is Scandinavia.

Earlier reasons: The affection I feel for some people.

Sometimes you can really feel so much love for some persons that you really dont want to live without them. Im only talking about friends now. The reason why that is not a reason for me to stay anymore is that I havent found someone that feels the same about me. Egoistic you may think. But its only self preservance. If you thought that it is egoistic then you have never loved someone so much the heart aches when you think about that person, and you feel like crying because your heart is so filled with love for him/her. And/or maybe you just have never felt that that kind of love is responded. Well, I have felt that the persons I give so much importance to dont feel the same about me. So Im tired. Im tired of exhausting my heart. Maybe the fault is mine. Maybe you feel that way. Maybe I just dont understand. Maybe my cold Swedish heart doesnt understand latin love. Maybe I need a change of heart. In anyway, I apologize. And I really do love you so please dont misunderstand me. But now I need to go home to the persons that I feel respond to my love. They are persons I love and Ive loved for a very long time and that are very important to me. We might not see each other much, neither talk, nor write to each other as often as we could, but their love for me is always present. I can feel it wherever I am and whatever I do. You know who you are!

The point: I need things to change now. I know they will. With time. I dont know how much time it will take. But it will change. Because that is the only thing that is constant: change!

On this day a blog is born...

2009-07-15T22:53:00.003+02:00

Maybe I should liken it with a plant. One of those undying ones I hope. Or something else undying...Anyway, what I want to say is that for some reason Ive decided to create this blog. I have so many reasons. My only fear is that it will be as constant as my diary...

My diary...I wanted to fill it with purpose, with reason, and with hopes and thoughts. Instead I put stickers on it. Stickers that would simbolize things and situations I wanted to achieve during the time the diary lasted. Supposingly it should have lasted one year, understood that I wanted to achieve those things during that year. I believe I might have stopped writing it it already in the first quarter. This was year 2007 :-S. I didnt achieve the most of them till 2008. Im still working on many of them.

I dont see this is a diary (because then I wouldnt be able to go on writing in it...). I prefer calling it note pad or something. Why? There are so many things that pop up in this restless and philosophical little brain of mine that thinks too much than what is good for it. I will try to put the best of those things in here because they are all worthy of being remembered and shared with you, all you people that hopefully think that what I think matters and can make a difference in this life.

Lets call it a dedication. A dedication to life as I live it. Lets call it "olofssonology"...